Sideshow: First, 'The Hills'; now, a best seller . . .

The Hills

alum

Lauren Conrad

has proven she is a creative force of awesome power: Her first novel,

L.A. Candy

, is No. 1 on the New York Times Best Seller List in its second week, after debuting at No. 2. The poetic bildungsroman traces a 19-year-old Hollywood intern who "plans to play as hard as she works, and has enlisted her BFF Scarlett to join in the fun." Conrad tells People, "if someone said to me five years ago . . . that I would one day make the . . . Best Seller List I wouldn't have believed it. I am so honored that it is now a reality." The honor is all ours, babe.

Speaking of Important Writers, TMZ says

Howard Stern

lackey

Artie Lange

, author of

Too Fat to Fish

, was arrested yesterday in Toms River, N.J., for DUI after he rear-ended a car in a minor accident.

Rachael Ray

's rep says the pixie food maven had surgery on her vocal cords last week to remove a cyst. The "procedure was a success," the rep tells People.

Prince Charles

honored

Led Zeppelin

's

Robert Plant

yesterday with a Commander of the British Empire. The CBE is a higher honor than bandmate

Jimmy Page

's Order of the British Empire.

Beverly Hills, 90210

alum

Jason Priestley

, 39, and his wife of four years,

Naomi Lowde-Priestley

, welcomed their second child Thursday night in Lalaland. The yet-to-be-named boy joins sis

Ava

, 2.

Youthful funnyman Jim Carrey, 47, is becoming a grandpa. Jane Carrey, 21, Jim's daughter with first wife, Melissa, is pregnant with her first child. The father is Jane's fiance, rocker Alex Santana.

How's this for the perfect

Steve Carell

role: A depressive whose only comfort is to play with a beaver hand puppet. But Variety says

The Beaver

has been green-lighted to star

Mel "Braveheart" Gibson

under the direction of

Jodie Foster

, who will also play his wife. (It's like signing

Ingmar Bergman

and

Max von Sydow

to make

Dude, Where's My Car?

)