Bloody 'H2' is just horrible

Rob Zombie's transition from scary heavy-metal maven to slash-and-splatter moviemaker is completed with

Halloween II

.

The director of House of 1,000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects is so mainstream he's a sequel sellout now.

H2 picks up the story with an extended "later that night" sequence following up on the carnage of Halloween. Zombie shows us, graphically, what machetes, axes, and butcher knives do to a human body and how - if they have insurance - the medical system might treat those thus traumatized. But is Michael Myers dead? Apparently not, as Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton) is chased out of her trauma-ward bed, across the rainy parking lot to "safety" with the security guard.

"My name is Buddy. It's going to be fine."

Of course it isn't. And of course Laurie wakes up just as Michael is smashing his way in to get her. Again.

A year has passed, and Halloween approaches. The lost "body" of Michael Myers has been lying low, eating wildlife and dogs and fantasizing flashbacks to when he was a disturbed kid and his dead mom (played by Zombie's wife, Sherri Moon Zombie) was there to comfort him.

During a couple of brutal nights of unprovoked terror, Michael works his way back into Haddonfield for another "final" shot at killing Laurie and other scarred victims of his last rampage.

Zombie does have a sense of humor. He also has an eye, and an ear for old rock and pop tunes - he beats the Moody Blues' "Nights in White Satin" to death here. But story, character, and editing really fall down in this one.

With Halloween II, Zombie shows conclusively that he's not interested in growing, getting better or ever becoming an original. He's just a hack with a made-up name, a cult following, and a wife who can't act.