Ask Amy: Teen friend has sex; mom is unaware

Dear Amy:

I'm a 15-year-old girl. One of my closest friends, "Laura," is sexually active. I think she has been practicing safe sex, but I'm not sure. She hasn't made her mother aware of this part of her life.

Normally I would just step back and keep in mind that it's Laura's life. I can't make decisions for her, and it's certainly not my place to inform her mom, but Laura's mom, "Betsy," is also a friend (not to be confused with a mother figure).

Betsy is very open with me and more than once she has said things like, "I'm so glad that Laura hasn't had sex." As Betsy's friend, I feel as if I should say something, but as Laura's friend I feel that I should keep my mouth shut.

I really don't want to ruin my friendship with Laura, but her mom needs to know about this. How should I handle this?

Dear Conflicted: You strike me as a preternaturally grown-up 15-year-old, so my first suggestion is that after tackling this issue you should join the field hockey team at school.

You really should have the opportunity to be a kid.

Tell the mother that "Laura" is sexually active.

I can only hope that this mother chooses to be a mom rather than a best friend and cares enough to get involved in her daughter's life to make sure she is making safe and healthy choices.

Laura will feel as if she has been "busted," and she might be angry with you, but this will last for about 41/2 days, or until she needs you for something. You are being the best kind of friend there is.

I give you credit for seeing this behavior as risky and for wanting to do something about it. Good for you.