Steve and Mia: Should he kiss and tell ... or just kiss?

Q: I'm a 39-year-old guy, happily divorced. This summer I reconnected with a very special woman whom I knew growing up. We are having a great time together. While I was divorced, I had an affair with this woman's friend (who does not live nearby). To be fair, I spoke with the woman with whom I had the affair about seeing her friend; she wanted the best for us and encouraged me to pursue her.

Also, I had been hyperactively dating on match.com for quite some time (which I heartily recommend), but have slowed down to focus on my new relationship. I've discontinued my match.com membership and have been cleaning house of lingering relationships. I've been honest to these women about why I'm doing this and trying to part as friends. I am doing my best to minimize temptation.

I want to be honest with this special woman, yet I don't want to shoot myself in the foot. Should I 'fess up to this short affair with her friend, which happened in the past year? Should I 'fess up to my hyperactive match.com dating? Or is it best to let sleeping dogs lie?

Steve: The problem with sleeping dogs is that they eventually wake up. But I see no reason to rouse them. Let your relationship proceed without this unnecessary information. If it blossoms into a sturdy partnership and one of the dogs starts barking, you'll be better able to handle it.

Mia: The purpose of dating is to get to know someone and to allow them to get to know you, too. So I think you should err on the side of full disclosure - within time. There's no rush. You don't have to tell how many times you did the horizontal boogie with her girlfriend or the exact number of women you plucked off the Internet. But there's nothing wrong with letting your new girlfriend know that you've been actively asking women out and that you also briefly dated a friend of hers as well.

Your new friend might even be flattered that after checking out so many prospects, you chose her.

Q: I was fixed up with a guy recently who seemed really nice. It felt like we connected, but he never called. I asked the friend who introduced us what was going on and she told me that he was really busy. I tried e-mailing him but never heard back. What do you think?

Mia: Forget about him. There are too many men around to worry about one who's clearly not worrying about you. Move on, Honey.

Steve: I think he's just not into you. And waiting for him to call tomorrow is a waste of today.