Ask Amy: Safeguarding baby from the flu

Dear Amy:

I'm a new mom. I have a 4-month-old baby who is not old enough to get the flu shot or the H1N1 vaccination.

With the holidays coming up and being around tons of family members, is it rude for me to offer a little squirt of hand-sanitizing gel before they touch or hold the baby? Even if it's my mother-in-law?

Dear Freaked: Don't freak out. Do be cautious.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (cdc.gov) recommends that all of us take precautions against the flu. The CDC's recommendations include sneezing or coughing into a tissue (and throwing the tissue away), washing one's hands thoroughly and frequently with soap and warm water, and staying home if you are sick and for 24 hours after a fever abates.

It is perfectly reasonable to ask guests in your home (even your mother-in-law!) to wash their hands (or use antibacterial wipes or gel) before they handle the baby.

Dear Amy: A family member is habitually tardy.

I'm tired of telling her the time for an event is an hour earlier; she has caught on to that! Any ideas?

Dear Worried: Don't try to outsmart your family member's faulty clock. She will be late for family functions, no matter what you do, so get on with your life.

You might be able to help this adult see the effects of her behavior by asking, "Can you figure out why you're always late? Have you thought about what your lateness is like for those of us who are waiting for you?

Ask these questions, listen to her answers, and encourage her to reflect on the effect of her behavior.