Legion * (out of four stars)

Directed by Scott Stewart, starring Paul Bettany, Adrianne Palicki and Dennis Quaid. Rated R (strong bloody violence, profanity). Playing at: area theaters.

The diner, as always, is a dive in the desert. There's always a broad slice of humanity in it.

And then these mismatched folks - young and old, rich and poor - face real terror and must band together to survive.

Because here come the zombies. Or vampires. Or vampire bikers.

But in Legion, the assaulting hordes are demons and angels from heaven. And these angels and their spawn aren't taking any prisoners. God's given up on the human race and is ready to wipe us out. Again.

Profane, profanely silly, and blasphemous to beat the band, Legion begins well, then plunges into the abyss of tedium. For a few minutes, the cast of the most preposterous movie of the new year recognizes it as preposterous and plays along.

Actors gape in terror and awe as the skies darken and the biblical Apocalypse begins, with bugs and people possessed by angels converging on the Paradise Falls diner in the Mohave Desert.

Then the acting settles into "indifferent" and the feeble action beats are stretched so far apart that you almost forget the Zulu / Assault on Precinct 13 / From Dusk Till Dawn template at work here. Visual-effects-guy-turned-director Scott Stewart gives this film few effects and no pace, losing himself in the crises of the characters.

- Roger Moore, Orlando Sentinel