Ask Amy: Roommate has spoiled a friendship
Dear Amy: I moved to a new city six months ago and signed a lease to share a place with someone I knew in college. For the first few months, we had a good relationship. Then, unexpectedly, she announced that she wanted to move out in two weeks, a move that would have stuck me with the full rent if I couldn't find a new roommate.
Dear Amy:
I moved to a new city six months ago and signed a lease to share a place with someone I knew in college. For the first few months, we had a good relationship. Then, unexpectedly, she announced that she wanted to move out in two weeks, a move that would have stuck me with the full rent if I couldn't find a new roommate.
For two weeks, I scrambled to find someone new to live with. Then, as abruptly as she had told me she was moving out, my roommate told me she had decided to stay. I accepted this because I had been unable to find anyone to take her place.
She has gone back to being friendly to me and expecting me to do roommate activities, including cooking dinner and socializing together.
I no longer wish to be friends with her because of her behavior, but I am pleasant for the sake of a harmonious living situation.
Our lease is up this summer, and, of course, I will be moving out. I also do not want to socialize with her after we no longer live together.
I am getting married soon and do not want to invite her to the wedding. What is my obligation here?
The best way to do this is to be cordial, noncommittal and serene. Find a new place, make your plans and look forward to changing your living situation. If she shows an interest in continuing to room with you, tell her, "I'm not comfortable with that idea." Think of it not as a confrontation but an explanation.
Your wedding guest list is between you and your fiance. Don't invite anyone you wouldn't want to see on your wedding day.