Ask Amy: Lives rent-free, but still in debt

Dear Amy:

I am 24 years old and in debt. I have several bills to pay each month, including a phone bill, car payment, student loans, and two credit cards. I don't make much at my job, so my income is really just enough to pay my bills.

Somehow, whenever we talk about debt, people tend to ask me: "Are you paying rent?" And when I say no - I still live at home - they react to my financial woes as if they're no big deal because I still live at home.

I think it's rude.

I pay for everything (other than housing), including food, clothing, and anything else I need on top of my bills. I haven't relied on my parents for much in years.

My friends shrug off my efforts as if my debt is a nonissue because I don't pay rent. They say they have it worse. It makes me mad.

What can I say to make them realize that just because I don't pay to live in my home doesn't mean I'm not burdened by debt? Or should I just quietly seethe?

Dear Sad: Do you and your friends compete over who has the worst debt problem?

Not to sound too crotchety, but back when I was your age, 24-year-olds inflated their income instead of poor-mouthing about their debt.

You are to be commended for paying your bills. I trust that you are living at home not just to pay your bills but also to pay down your bills.

Your friends are reacting to the fact that (depending on where you live) housing can eat up a third of your income. Your income is just servicing your debt and whatever extras you can afford each month. That's not enough. You may need to trade in your car for a bicycle or scrounge for a second job.

Other people might have advantages you haven't had - if they aren't saddled with student loans, they have more for rent. You can have the last (and best) say when you finally pay off your debt, stay out of debt, and work hard to save.