Ask Amy: She's not fat, but Mom's mouth is

Dear Amy:

I am 17, 5-foot-3, and I weigh 130. I am perfectly comfortable with my body.

However, every day my mom tells me I am fat and I could "stand to lose 50 pounds and then some."

I have told her to stop many times, but she still says, "Ewwww," and, "Look at how fat you are."

She pokes, prods, and pinches me in areas where I am not comfortable being touched. How do I make her stop?

Dear Fatty: What you describe is abusive.

Your weight is within the healthy range. You already know this, and it's not really the point.

No one should heckle you about your body's shape - or touch you in places you don't wish to be touched.

Tell her, "Please don't touch me; that makes me uncomfortable, and I want you to stop."

Because she cannot be trusted, your mother should not watch you change clothes.

Please try your hardest to tune out your mom's irrational appraisal. You should talk to a trusted adult (preferably a professional counselor).

Dear Amy: At wholesome ballroom dances the last few months, a mutual attraction has developed between the sexiest mature male I've ever met and me.

We're both divorced and are close to our grown children. He's asked me to call him at his number but has not asked for mine.

We've met for lunch once near his place of business. Because I live alone and we have no mutual friends, I'm hesitant to invite him over. A one-night stand is not my style.

Should I make a move, and if so, what should it be?

Dear Cautious: Your gentleman friend did not ask for your number because he knows some women don't like to give out their numbers for security reasons.

He has given you his number, and an invitation to call.

I suggest you put his number to good use and invite him somewhere to do something with you.

You fill in the "somewhere" and "something." If you don't want to have a one-night stand, then don't have one.

I think the best getting-to-know-you dates involve a shared activity. Bowling is surprisingly fun, partly because everyone is at least a little bit bad at it. If bowling in rented shoes is not your style, you might invite him to an art opening.

Take it slowly, and enjoy the dance.