Dave on Demand: 'Twilight' bubbleheader

Vampires and werewolves go together, it is becoming increasingly apparent, like a hearse and carnage. You simply can't have one without the other.

In olden days, it took the likes of Abbott and Costello to broker a rare summit between these creatures of the night. Now they've become a package deal - fangs and claws.

Even HBO's vampire feast True Blood is getting into the act, introducing shaggy hellhounds of its own as the third season begins. At this point, you can't swing a possum on that set without hitting a rabid monster of some kind.

My favorite clash of vamps and wolfmen took place on Jimmy Kimmel's Twilight special this week, during a spoof of the hit films that starred the crew from Jersey Shore. Friggin' Twilight featured sparkling dialogue like: "The Situation is so blinged out, it's sick, yo!"

That got me thinking about the potential for a cable showdown. How long do you think HBO's menagerie would last if they were transplanted from the bayou to the beach, from Bon Temps to Seaside Heights? True Blood vs. Fake Tan? Sookie vs. Snooki? Fuggetaboutit!

Premature. Fox announced this week that it is lowering the eligible age for contestants on American Idol to 15.

That seems dangerously irresponsible. What adolescent could possibly handle the pressure cooker that is Idol without being permanently warped?

I'm willing to wager that the new policy was reached after the show's producers spent 10 minutes salivating over the sales figures of teen sensation Justin Bieber.

Fake damage. ABC's new game show Downfall is a disappointment. I tuned in to see them toss luxury items off a roof to shatter in the alley below. That's what the promos promised.

Turned out the items being jettisoned were pretty chintzy. And even those were replicas of the real products. Really? You couldn't spring for a genuine popcorn maker?

But Chris Jericho of WWE fame certainly acquitted himself well as the Downfall host. I hope this starts a trend in which all game shows are hosted by professional wrestlers.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Triple H for another installment of Name That Tune . . . Or Else.

Cheerio. If the World Cup has taught us anything, it's that soccer is a sport, like golf and cycling, that requires at least one announcer with a British accent.

ESPN's Ian Darke clearly knows his stuff, but he keeps dropping in curious colloquialisms. After a routine save by the goalie, he chirped, "Safe as houses." Following a nifty pass: "He dropped that on a sixpence." Great! Now we have to do currency conversions?

The channel also employs Ally McCoist, whose Scottish burr is so thick I had an easier time understanding Boomhauer on King of the Hill.

But if hearing them natter on saves me from having to listen to the smug pontification of American studio analyst Alexi Lalas, then have at it, mates.

Did you get my text? The lamest breakup of the week was Jake Pavelka calling Vienna, his chosen one from The Bachelor, on the phone to inform her it was over.

Pavelka told People.com that he had to end the relationship in a hurry so he could concentrate on preparing for his cameo on Lifetime's Drop Dead Diva.

Vienna is lucky he doesn't have a more challenging bit role, say for instance on Hot in Cleveland. Then he would have dumped her on Twitter.