Sideshow: Lindsay Lohan has a rights idea

It's a rare and wondrous thing to find a member of that subaltern fraternity - spoiled Hollywood stars - rising to the ultimate existential and political challenge so bravely faced by

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

and

Nelson Mandela

.

Lindsay Lohan is that rare bird - crystalline plumage and all. While others fight for their right to paaarty!, she fights for human rights.

Two days after being ruthlessly condemned to 90 days in a rat-infested dungeon, an unbroken LiLo spoke Truth to Power.

"It is clearly stated in Article 5 of the U.N. Universal Declaration of Human Rights," she tweeted Wednesday, " 'No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.' "

In a show of Kierkegaardian moral courage and Sartrean dignity, LiLo cited the case of Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani, the Iranian woman sentenced to death by stoning for adultery.

LiLo is a sacrifice to Tinseltown's unjust system as Ashtiani is to Iran's repressive one. We pray she endures these dark days of the soul.

Lindsay also tweeted that the abominable epithet she bore on the nail of her middle finger in court was not meant as an insult to Beverly Hills Superior Court

Judge Marsha Revel

, but simply as a show of artistic freedom: "It had nothing to do w/court.. it's an airbrush design from a stencil." The girl is a freedom fighter.

According to Life & Style Weekly, our favorite reality doofus

Jon Gosselin

has shown his affections for his latest lover by tattooing her name on his back in Korean in a scroll design.

Trouble is, he got the spelling wrong.

Hyung-eun Min of the Korean Culture Service tells the mag Jon's spelling of Ellen Ross' name is actually the Korean spelling of the male name Aaron or Aron. Life & Style also notes a lot of empty space in the scroll under Ellen's name - for Jon's later conquests?

Former

Saturday Night Live

funnywoman

Rachel Dratch

, 44, is expecting her first baby in September, New York mag and People report. No info on the father's identity.

Reality star Bethenny Frankel, 39, tells People she will spoil her 8-week-old baby, Bryn, because she was deprived herself.

"I never had a true childhood," says Frankel, only child of trainer Bobby Frankel and his first wife, Bernadette. "There was a lot of destruction: alcohol abuse, eating disorders, and violent fights," says Frankel, whose baby's papa is businessman Jason Hoppy. She says she remains estranged from her "extremely volatile" mom.

London tabloid the Daily Mail (www.dailymail.co.uk) has posted photos of Transformer sex symbol Megan Fox's lavish wedding to Brian Austin Green. Wonder how much $ she made off the pics.

Gwyneth Paltrow

tells Vogue her late father, Hollywood producer

Bruce Paltrow

, was the inspiration for her new cookbook,

My Father's Daughter

, due out in April 2011.

"I always feel closest to my father, who was the love of my life until his death in 2002," GP says, "when I am in the kitchen. I can still hear him over my shoulder, heckling me, telling me to be careful with my knife, moaning with pleasure over a bite of something in only the way a Jew from Long Island can."

She says Bruce's love of food was contagious: "I will never forget how concentrated he looked in the kitchen. . . . It was as if the deliciousness of the food would convey the love he felt in direct proportion."

The New York Post says

Star Wars

star

Hayden Christensen

and his older brother,

Tove

, have filed a lawsuit against USA Network in federal court in Manhattan, charging the cabler stole their idea for its medical dramedy

Royal Pains

, about a doctor who makes house calls to the rich and famous. The brothers said they pitched their show, titled

Housecall

, to the NBC subsidiary in 2005.

James Cameron's Avatar, which posted such disappointing box-office numbers ($2.7 billion in worldwide sales), will return to theaters on Aug. 27 in a new, 3-D-only edition called Avatar: Special Edition.

Speaking of that environmentally conscious masterpiece, Avatar actress Zoe Saldana has decided to further showcase her gifts and hone those acting skills as the star of Calvin Klein's fall undies ad campaign. She will specialize in the new Envy line of lingerie.

Local beauty 'n' brains package Tina Fey says she's deeply gratified by her Emmy nomination for 30 Rock. "This is great and exciting news," she says. "Also, this seems like an appropriate time for me to announce to NBC that I will not be renewing my contract . . . with my gym."

Johnny Depp's life partner, French singer-actor Vanessa Paradis, who has been with the Edward Scissorhands star for 12 years, says she can't see herself acting with her love. "Frankly, the thought of filming with him would scare me to death," she tells London's Daily Mail. "It's not that I don't want to, but I would be frightened that I wouldn't be up to his standard because he's so talented. And I don't know if I would be able to lie in front of him."

The couple live in France with their two kids, Lily-Rose, 11, and John Christopher, 8.