Tell Me About It: Wife feels overworked, tired, angry

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Question: I am struggling with being grumpy, snappish, and angry lately, and there's nothing more going on than the everyday overload of part-time work, parenting a preschooler, marriage, keeping a house running, keeping up with friends and family, etc.

I feel like I can't breathe sometimes because there is so much to do and I rarely have time to myself. When I do have a few free moments, I'm usually too exhausted to do anything important to me, like write. I end up doing mindless things, which depletes me further.

Answer: Stop trying to do other things with your downtime, even things you consider important.

Rest is important, too, and you're not getting any - except maybe in the form of those "mindless things," but you're not even letting yourself enjoy them.

Talk to your husband, and pick a few things you're willing to postpone until your preschooler is older and more self-reliant (6 or 7 years old, not far off). These can include your preferred amount of writing, cleanliness, and contact with friends and family; all of them are at least candidates for the back burner.

Similarly, you can pick a few things you consider your top priorities right now. Seek out laughter. Include alone time for you and your husband, too.

And, maybe most important, decide right now to stop beating yourself up when you spend your precious free time on accomplishing "nothing." Realize you are indeed accomplishing something: You're shutting down. We all have to do it. We can't be productive with every waking minute of every day.

As always, if it doesn't work - if the angry mood persists - then it's time to consider talking to a therapist.