Steve and Mia: He's having sex with his ex's cousin - no big deal. . .right?

Q: I'm happily divorced and have a good relationship with my ex. Every once in a while I get together with her cousin for drinks with benefits. We have no intention of taking this any further; my ex and her cousin haven't spoken in years. Is this wrong?

Mia: What you're doing isn't wrong, but I can almost guarantee that your ex won't like it if she finds out. You'd better hope her cousin keeps her lips closed tighter than her legs, or that "good" relationship you have with your ex won't be so good.

Steve: I'm assuming this cousin is also single. If not, you are really, really wrong. But if she's as free as you are, then there's no harm and no foul. But Mia's right about keeping this arrangement quiet.

Q: During sex, my girlfriend likes to put her finger into my anus. I really don't mind this, though if I try to do the same to her she slaps my hand away and says "exit only" and that it's different for women than it is for men. She's also asked me if she could use a dildo on me because she says all men enjoy that sort of thing. I told her no, but she said I'm no fun and keeps pressing the issue. I really don't want this to cause problems, but I can't seem to get through to her. Is there anything I can do?

Mia: Your girl is power tripping. The next time she starts going back door, use her words and say "exit only." Let her know you mean it. What's fair is fair. She shouldn't expect you to play games she wouldn't.

Steve: First, forget "all men" or "all women." Sexual preferences vary as widely as imaginable. Your gal likes things you don't and vice versa. This is common. The solution is compromise and mutual respect. And if she insists you do something you don't like, that is not respect.