Sideshow: Doing without help - so common

Prince William

and princess-y wife

Kate Middleton

already have broken one of their most popular (pre-marriage) campaign promises: They're hiring servants.

The royal couple had promised the people - with much earnestness - they would do their own shopping and cleaning. Couldn't cope, I guess: The newlyweds have posted an ad for a housekeeper and a dresser to serve them at their new London pad, Kensington Palace. Lest you've not had your recommended daily allowance of BBC costume dramas, a dresser is a person who gently places rich people into their pants, socks, boots, cravats, and so forth.

Late-night TV's overgrown adolescents had an orgy of fun Monday night at the expense of U.S. Rep.

Anthony Weiner

, who hours earlier admitted he had tweeted inappropriate pics of his anatomy to a college coed.

"Beautiful day in New York City," said CBS's David Letterman. "It was so nice today the entire staff was in Central Park writing Weiner jokes."

Comedy Central's faux pundit Stephen Colbert shared this tidbit while sitting next to a huge enlargement of Weiner's photo:

"I think we will always remember where we were when we found out that this is, in fact, Anthony Weiner's . . . ."

Dakota Fanning

, 17, who shocked us to the core of our being when she suddenly went from

Charlotte's Web

cutie-pie to sexed-up

Runaways

rocker

, officially became an adult Monday, graduating from Campbell Hall Episcopal High School in Lalaland. USA Today says Fanning excelled as a cheerleader and even was crowned homecoming queen.

Country megastar

Taylor Swift

will join the

Black Eyed Peas

,

Natasha Bedingfield

,

MC Hammer

,

Debbie Harry

,

LL Cool J

, and

Carole King

for a concert Thursday in Central Park in New York to benefit charities that combat poverty in the Big Apple.

Swift "is an incredible inspiration to people of all ages and her music gives a voice to those who feel left behind," said the songalicious Fergie.

Brooke Shields

went through it at Princeton,

Jodie Foster

at Yale. So it's understandable that

Harry Potter

star

Emma Watson

had problems at Brown University, which she left in March. Life as a celeb was weird.

"I was in denial," Emma tells London's Sunday Times mag. "I wanted to pretend I wasn't as famous as I was. I was trying to seek out normality, but I kind of have to accept who I am, the position I'm in, and what happened." But Emma denies rumors she was bullied by fellow students.

They were totally cool, she says: "I've never even been asked for an autograph on campus."

How big a blockbuster is

X-Men: First Class

? So big, FX has bought broadcasting rights to the pic, a mere week after it opened. It'll be telecast in 2014.

Craig Ferguson will tape The Late Late Show in Paris during the week of June 13-17. CF, who often has joke-complained that his studio is too small and too dark, says, "This is the first time in the history of this show that we've been allowed outside."

Marvel Comics has signed a deal with Edgar Rice Burroughs' estate to produce a series of comics based on the Tarzan author's Martian stories, which featured hero John Carter. The first of the five-issue mini-series John Carter, Warlord of Mars, is due in September.

The Hollywood Reporter says Current TV's Keith Olbermann may be raking in $10 mil a year for his new show, set to debut June 20. That's not all! KO's previous employer, MSNBC.com, is contractually obliged to continue paying his old salary (a mere $7 mil a year) for the next year and a half.

"He's the best thing I've ever done," says Victoria's Secret angel

Miranda Kerr

of 5-month-old baby

Flynn

, created with input from husband

Orlando Bloom

. Kerr tells Us Weekly that Flynn is at a "fun age. . . . He's smiling. He has two little teeth on the bottom now, so that's been a little painful." A

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.

Newly minted couple

Blake Lively

and

Leonardo DiCaprio

must really be in love: They spent the day at Disneyland on a recent date. . . . British tabloid The News of the World on Tuesday apologized to actress

Sienna Miller

in London's High Court for hacking into her cellphone account and publishing some of that information. Miller settled with the tab for $164,500 in damages and court costs. . . . Life & Style Weekly says author and TV star

Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi

and beau

Jionni LaValle

have split up after eight months. . . . Star mag claims

Jennifer Aniston

stole new bf

Justin Theroux

's heart while he was still attached to one

Heidi Bivens

, a New York stylist. Did Jen know about Heidi? Is she a thief? Or is Justin just a cad? Is the report true? . . .

Eminem

throws out a little disrespect at

Lady Gaga

and teen warbler

Justin Bieber

on his new album,

Hell: The Sequel

, says USA Today. On the song "A Kiss," he calls Her Gagaship a transgendered man and he says Justin is "evil." . . .

Jessica Biel

rode on

Gerard Butler

's motorcycle with him (gasp!), says Us Weekly via Gawker.com. This proves the duo plan to marry. . . .

Katie Couric

didn't like

Donald Trump'

s non-official non-campaign for the White House. The Combover "was acting like a jackass," she told host

Jay Leno

on

The Tonight Show

.