Sideshow: Redmond O'Neal is arrested again

Redmond O'Neal, 26, product of the union between Ryan O'Neal and the late Charlie's Angels angel Farrah Fawcett, was busted for alleged heroin possession Tuesday after cops found drugs in his car when he was stopped for running a red light in Santa Monica, Calif.

Redmond, who was bequeathed almost all of his mother's $6 mil fortune, is not eligible for bail because he's on felony probation for two drug busts last year that sent him to a court-ordered drug diversion program.

Seems impossible, right? That the sexy, oh-so-seductive Ninja Warrior Assassin could ever die! Deadline.com reports that the season premiere of Ashton Kutcher's Two and a Half Men will feature a funeral for Charlie Sheen's character, Charlie.

Cause of death? CBS is staying mum. (Dude, he was totally assassinated by the rival Iga Shinobi clan.)

How much does it take to feed and clothe your kids? If you're supermodel Linda Evangelista, you won't be able to make ends meet for less than $46,000 a month - for one toddler.

The New York Post says that's the sum Linda, 46, demands her baby's papa, French tycoon Francois Henri-Pinault (his family is worth $11.5 billion), pay her for their son Augustin James, 4. It's reportedly the highest child support sought in Manhattan family court.

After an often odd three-month journey, Ashley Hebert, the filly from Philly, chose J.P. on the conclusion of The Bachelorette Monday.

Criticized by viewers and bloggers as indecisive and easily swayed, the Penn dental student showed no hesitation despite a touchingly sincere wedding proposal from finalist Ben. Ashley was torn because she confessed to feeling more compatible and comfortable with Ben.

Ashley and J.P. glowed as they expressed their mutual love on the platform above the shore in Fiji. Did it strike you as unnecessarily cruel that after Ben was crushed by Ashley's turn-down, they put him in a little dinghy and had him putt-putt past the scene of his humiliation?

- David Hiltbrand

Glen Mills' Robert K. Wittman, founder of the FBI Art Crime Team, will appear on The Colbert Report on Wednesday to discuss his best-seller Priceless, cowritten with Inquirer writer John Shiffman. During 20 years as a Philly-based FBI agent, Wittman went undercover to rescue stolen Rembrandts, Renoirs, and Rockwells, as well as Geronimo's headdress and a stolen copy of the Bill of Rights. Wittman retired in '09.

MSNBC, which recently lost its Old Testament prophet Keith Olbermann to Current TV, gets to keep Rachel Maddow. She just signed a multiyear contract with the cabler.

Sorry, General Hospital-heads: James Franco won't return to the soap for some time, despite recent ABC promos. The star tells USA Today that he has to devote all his time to his next project, Oz: The Great and Powerful. In other things Franco, the Oscar host admits he didn't go to any post-award parties, instead flying straight back to his life as a Yale Ph.D. student. "It was nice," he says. "I could just study some medieval manuscripts and relax."

Anglophile DVD distribution firm Acorn Media has added an online streaming service for some of its popular shows including Foyle's War, Brideshead Revisited, Agatha Christie's Poirot, and Upstairs, Downstairs. Info: http://acornonline.com/acorntv

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The modestly named Jay-Z-Kanye West musical partnership the Throne will honor Philly with a show Nov. 2 at the Wells Fargo Center. Tix go on sale 10 a.m. Monday. Info: www.ComcastTIX.com or 1-800-298-4200.

But . . . will the Throne even make it to Philly? Word is Jay-Z and Kanye West can't stand each other. Kinda true, Jay-Z says, but that friction translates as creative frisson. "Yes, we get on each other's nerves, but that's part of pushing each other," Beyoncé's less sexy half tells New York's Hot 97 radio station.

"We push each other. The people that have a problem with Kanye or myself are people who are complacent in life."

Gawker reports that a recently unsealed file reveals that the FBI had famed French anthropologist Claude Levi-Strauss monitored for a decade after J. Edgar Hoover received an anonymous note referring to the prof as a "Jewish international Communist." A report from the Secretary of Labor's office also claimed the Frenchman, who lived in New York during much of WWII, was "closely connected with a group in Mexico which is very bad, having something on their minds different from 'what the rest of us have on our minds.' " Nothing incriminating was found.

Marvel Comics hero Peter Parker died in Ultimate Spider-Man Issue 160 in June. But Spider-Man lives on!

USA Today reveals that the Spidey mantle will be picked up by the half-black, half-Hispanic teen Miles Morales. The new hero will make his debut in Marvel's Ultimate Fallout Issue 4, out Wednesday.