IF THE January/February issue of Playboy (each of Lindsay Lohan's breasts gets its own month) is selling well in Philadelphia, it may not be because of Lindsay's faux Marilyn Monroe pictorial, but because of Pat Jordan's "Nightmare on South Beach" story (yes, Tattle gets Playboy for the articles) about Fox 29 weatherman John Bolaris.

As readers of the Daily News know from 24/7 Dan Gross' story and Brad Guigar's terrific comic in our May 10, 2011, edition, Bolaris had a little trouble down South with a pair of Estonian women who got Bolaris Estoned and then ripped him off - twice.

The lengthy Playboy piece - which refers to Bolaris' new girlfriend, "Erica" (Smitheman, according to Gross), as a former topless model but neglects to mention that she modeled for Playboy - goes into the events in great detail and quotes Daily News editor Larry Platt on the essence of Bolaris:

"In Philly, weathermen and chefs are stars," Platt tells the magazine.

"John's been a huge star in Philly for years. He's good-looking and he dresses well. He's charming and nonthreatening. Women like to be seen with him at nice places. . . . That's where he stands with the public. In Philly, people want to be John Bolaris."

Tattle will now be John Bolaris: "Partly cloudy today, with highs in the mid-50s."

A Dutchy subject

Eva Hoeke, the editor of Dutch fashion mag Jackie, has been fired after the mag used a racial slur to refer to Rihanna, prompting a social media furor and an outraged response from the singer.

Hoeke and the mag's publisher said on Facebook that the misuse of a racial slur - "although without malicious intentions" - was cause for Hoeke's departure after eight years on the job.

The slur was used in an article about how to dress your daughter like a pop star.

Responding to criticism, Hoeke said at first that her use of the term was meant as a joke.

She then tweeted a more explicit apology, saying that she learned:

"1. Don't publish bad jokes in the magazine 2. Don't pretend bad jokes to be funny. Sorry guys. My bad."

On Tuesday, Rihanna tweeted: "Your magazine is a poor representation of the evolution of human rights!

"I find you disrespectful, and rather desperate!!"

Rihanna said that Jackie chose to print an item "degrading to an entire race. That's your contribution to this world!"

She also ended her tweet with an indelicate phrase.

Hoeke said she was unaware that the word she used was so loaded because "you hear it all the time on radio and TV," but that Hoeke didn't know that the term was offensive is a bit of a shocker.

Jackie referred to Rihanna as the "ultimate n---a bitch" - yikes.

The only place that term would be acceptable is in a rap song.

TATTBITS

Piers Morgan's ethics testimony before a British inquiry Tuesday took a hit yesterday when it was contradicted by one of his former tipsters.

James Hipwell said that voicemail interception was an everyday activity at the Daily Mirror and that it was hard to imagine that Morgan had been kept in the dark about it.

* The Hollywood Reporter cites Vin Diesel as saying that the script for the next installment of the popular "Fast and Furious" films is so jam-packed with characters, cars and crashes, it will have to be split into two movies - a faster and furiouser sixth film and a fastest and furiousest seventh film.

Cameron Douglas, jailed son of Michael Douglas, has been sentenced to 4 1/2 years in prison, beyond the five years he's already serving, for drug offenses.

Judge Richard Berman criticized the government's leniency and said that Cameron's violations included four instances in which a lawyer smuggled drugs into prison for him in her bra.

Yes, ladies, the new hide-your-meth bra will not only support your breasts, but his habit.

- Daily News wire services

contributed to this report.