Sideshow: Greatest show ever, says Nielsen

Every man, woman, child, household pet, and domesticated farmyard animal on the planet (with the exception of yours truly) watched Sunday's Super Bowl game, which saw the New York Giants fell the mighty New England Patriots, 21-17. It was the most-watched program in U.S. TV history, drawing an average of 111.3 mil domestic viewers, according to Nielsen SoundScan (Madonna's halftime show drew 114 mil). Global numbers aren't in, but we imagine they are spectacular.

Sunday's game also broke the Twitter record, indicating that many, many people tweeted about the contest, an indication, says Inc.com, that it was a most important cultural phenom. There was an average of 10,000 tweets per second (TPS) in the final three minutes of the game, Twitter says. Quite astounding.

Gisele Bundchen is steamin' mad that, as she sees it, her superman hub, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, was not properly supported by his teammates, especially the receivers. "My husband cannot [obscenity] throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can't believe they dropped the ball so many times," Bundchen said in a video posted by gossip site theinsider.com.

In an entirely speculative report, TMZ says speculative rumors that Kim Kardashian is secretly dating New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez are totally off-base, as are rumors she's with Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow. Why? TMZ cites Kim pals who say the reality-TV heroine will never date a football player again. Never. Like n-e-v-e-r.

Seems Kim's 2010 breakup with Reggie Bush was that rough.

The sale of Bart, Homer, and Marge Simpson dolls - or any Simpsons-related toys - has been banned in Iran, says Mohammad Hossein Farjoo, an official of the Institute for the Intellectual Development of Children and Young Adults, the Iranian agency that decides what toys and games are healthy for kids. Recently Iran's morality police removed Barbie and Ken dolls from store shelves.

Randy Travis, 52, has apologized for upsetting fans with his indecent behavior: The country warbler was arrested for public intoxication in the wee hours of Monday morning after cops clocked him swerving and veering around on wobbly legs in front of a church in the North Texas town of Sanger.

Travis told the Associated Press he was "committed to being responsible and accountable," and said he was worse for wear after "an evening of celebrating the Super Bowl." Was that the real reason? TMZ says Randy told one of the arresting officers he got drunk after an argument with a lover.

Nick Carter missed his sister Leslie Carter's funeral Sunday afternoon in Mayville, N.Y., not for lack of respect or as a protest: He says no one told him about it.

Not even bro Aaron, who did show up?

"I wanted to be at my sister's funeral, but my family has always had a complicated dynamic," Nick says in a statement to E! News. "I love my family. I want to thank everyone for all of their compassion and support that I have received during this most difficult time."

Music man and vampire Jackson Rathbone, who plays Jasper Hale in Twilight, and his gf, Sheila Hafsadi, are expecting their first child, his rep tells USAToday.com. Rathbone, 27, met Sheila, a burlesque dancer, while he was on tour with his band 100 Monkeys.

Charlie Rose, who caused a major spike in CBS News' collective IQ when he joined CBS This Morning, had a macho man-to-man on Monday with that utterly male man, Brad Pitt. Rose, who has honed his journalistic skills interviewing Nobel laureates and world-shaping poets, asked Brad if Jolie's recent claims she's still a bad - oh, a very bad! - girl are true. "She's still a bad girl - delightfully so," confirmed Brad, who is raising six kids with Jolie. Brad demurred when asked to share the gory details.

Brad had a sweet snortle when told GOP presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich told reporters that if Hollywood ever made a Newt biopic, he'd want Brad to play him.