Sideshow: On Sunday, the 500th 'Simpsons'

Have any doubts that Bart and Homer Simpson have totally defined the culture?

Consider this: Fox's animated social satire (and hilarious 'toon) will air its 500th episode, "At Long Last Leave," on Sunday.

Ay caramba! It's a feat. Only two other prime-time scripted series have reached this milestone, Gunsmoke (635) and Lassie (588).

"I never imagined this," Matt Groening, the wigged-out genius behind the show, tells USA Today. "I thought it would be a hit with kids. I wasn't sure adults would dig it."

Exec producer James L. Brooks says the show, in its 23d season, has lasted a generation because of "the flexibility of these characters. They can do any kind of comedy anyone ever thought of, from farce to reality." Josh Weinstein, who oversaw production in Seasons 7 and 8, says the show has left an imprint on society. "Now you have people who use Simpsons quotes in everyday life and to talk about the world," he says. "I like to think we unduly influenced them."

The latest video from Randy Travis, 52, isn't exactly MTV material: Taken by a police car dashboard-cam, the Oscar-worthy short shows a tipsy Travis being arrested in Sanger, Texas, for being too soused for the public good.

The vid, released Thursday, shows cops approaching Travis' parked car and asking him if has been drinking. "Yes, sir, I have," the actor and country music singer says with due politesse. "But I'm not driving, as you can see."

Travis is shocked when police arrest him after retrieving a bottle of wine from his car.

(Sadly, the label is illegible - it could be Chateau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac 1996 or, say, Thunderbird.)

"Really? Are you kidding me?" says Travis, who's shown being cuffed and driven to jail.

Oprah has accepted Jimmy Kimmel's invitation to party hearty at the late-night guy's seventh annual post-Oscar bash, Jimmy Kimmel Live: After the Academy Awards, Sunday the 26th on ABC after the local news after the awards. (When that'll be is anyone's guess.) Oscar host Billy Crystal will be there, as will nominees Meryl Streep, George Clooney, and Martin Scorsese. 

People mag doesn't think she'll turn to Vera Wang, Versace, or Alexander McQueen's outfits to design her Oscar-night outfit. That's because she won't be in a gown, but . . . a nun's habit.

Baby-boom generation pin-up-blonde-turned-nun Dolores Hart will do the red carpet thing Sunday duded up in her real-life uniform as Benedictine nun Mother Dolores.

Mother Dolores, 73, costarred with Elvis Presley in 11 films, including Loving You and King Creole, before taking up the habit. She is prioress of the Benedictine Abbey of Regina Laudis in Bethlehem, Conn., says Sojourners. She'll be at the Oscars to support the nominated HBO docu about her life, God Is the Bigger Elvis.

Rumors that Sports Illustrated cover girl Kate Upton and New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez are dating has driven gossipers mad. Is it true? Ellen DeGeneres made a valiant attempt to get to the bottom of the matter. Kate said she had no valentine this year. Ellen persisted, asking her if she thought Mark was cute. "Yeah, he is cute," said Kate, who admitted she has met the dude. "So now you're dating him?" asked Ellen.

No luck: Kate said, "I met him briefly."

Ever wondered what Charlie Sheen thinks of his old show, Two and a Half Men, now that Ashton Kutcher has taken over the CBS ratings-winner? He's not happy with it, he tells TMZ.

He strings together three words to describe it: steaming, pile, and an obscenity. Oh my!

The Ray Charles Foundation has demanded that Albany State University in Georgia return two sets of gifts Charles gave the school: A $1 mil donation in 2001, followed by a grant of $2 mil a year, all to be used to build a performing arts center. The org says the school hasn't begun building the center. A rep from the school says Charles never specified how the money was to be used. Demetrius Love also says Albany State needs to raise $20 mil more to erect the center, and that the $2 mil a year has been given as scholarships to a total of 125 students.

Meryl Streep will play Julia Roberts' mom in helmer John Wells' film adaptation of Tracy Letts' Pulitzer- and Tony-winning play, August: Osage County. . . . Zac Efron took Phil Collins' daughter, Lily, to a West Hollywood eatery on Valentine's Day. . . . Tea party pinup Michele Bachmann won a polka-dancing contest in 10th grade, but has turned down an invitation to be on Dancing With the Stars, says USA Today. . . . Seal has taken off his wedding ring. . . . Anon sources tell TMZ that Whitney Houston's family is trying to block her ex-, Bobby Brown, from her $20 mil estate. The family claims Brown is trying to cozy up to his and Whitney's daughter, Bobbi Kristina, 18, and con her out of her inheritance. . . . Reggie Bush denies he is back together with Kim Kardashian.