The John Travolta sex scandal — two male masseurs claim the Be Cool star groped them — is about to be upgraded from absurd to surreal with an announcement by the unnamed accusers' lawyer, Okorie Okorocha, that "there's a bunch of accusers … who have similar accusations." Says Okorocha, "I'm still vetting their stories. More defendants might come forward soon." Time to dust off the circus bigtop!

Travolta's legal howitzer, Martin Singer, calls the allegations "absurd and ridiculous." He's given People mag a photo showing Travolta in a New York restaurant on Jan. 16. That's the day Travolta allegedly made sexual advances toward the first accuser in a Beverly Hills hotel.

Rihanna's IV lines

Don't be alarmed by recent photos of pop goddess Rihanna sitting with all sorts of IV lines and needles and other stuff coming out of her arm. (It was just one of those hospital intravenous tube setups. And they weren't leaked: She tweeted them herself.)

TMZ says the Barbadian songstress is suffering from the flu or flulike symptoms (which means exactly what?) and was just being restored with fluids and such. There are rumors that R almost ditched her Saturday Night Live appearance she's been so ill.

Bart Simpson luvs Lady Gaga

Matt Groening's anarchic animated show The Simpsons will feature Lady Gaga Herself playing … Lady GagaHerself for the sitcom's May 20 season finale. Her Gagaship will travel to the Simpson manse in Springfield "to cheer up a dejected and depressed Lisa." While there, she enters into a torrid sadomasochistic affaire de coeur with Lisa's Euro-suave brother Bart. (Sorry, I made that part up.)

Gaga does do something way sexy: The singer, famed for her multiple costume changes, will undergo 18 of 'em on the show.

Here's an image for you: Ms. Gaga will roll into town "on the Gaga Express train, powered by a giant flame-shooting bustier," says USAToday.com.

A new bachelor for 'Bachelor'?

As gimmicks go it'd be gross, unseemly and cheap — and therefore perfect for reality TV: Make Bachelor/Bachelorette host Chris Harrison, who recently split from his wife Gwen Jones, compete on the show as a bachelor! Alas, Harrison seems to have a mind of his own and says it ain't going to happen. At least for now.

"Ha ha," he told reporters Wednesday at a press confab for The Bachelorette, which kicks off Monday. "Good question. I was waiting for that one." Harrison married Jones in 1993 and has two kids with her.

It was Sofía who dumped Nick!

Sofía Vergara and bf of two years, would-be politician Nick Loeb, 36, have split up — and contrary to vicious rumors, she's the one who initiated it. The New York Post says Sofia appeared unescorted at Monday's star-studded Met Gala in New York right after the love ran out. Seems Loeb and Sofia have been arguing a lot, with her star rising because of her hit show, Modern Family. Celeb news site Celebuzz.com says Sofía, 39, has moved her stuff out of Loeb's Chelsea, N.Y., pad.

Brad Pitt saves world, models Chanel

Brad Pitt, you've saved the world from disease, hunger, and war. What do you want to do next? Um, like, become the cover boy for an overpriced French perfume?

E! News says Pitt is the new face of Chanel No. 5, becoming the first man in history to be granted that lucrative honor.

Live inside porn history!

The Miami-area house where scenes from Linda Lovelace's porn pic Deep Throat was shot is for sale, for $1.75 mil, says The Miami New Times. The pad was built and owned by a "bon vivant" (as the newspaper calls him) with the longest name of anyone in Florida — Baron Joseph "Sepy" De Bicske Dobronyi — who died in 2010.

Mother's Day with Teresa Giudice

The Real Housewives of New Jersey star Teresa Giudice, who on Sunday was fired by Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice, will host cooking demos to publicize her cookbook, Fabulicious, Friday at Parx Casino in Bensalem. Info: http://www.parxcasino.com/

Carrie U., Norah J. rock our world

The Billboard album chart this week is topped by two soulful songstresses, Carrie Underwood and Norah Jones. Carrie's fourth studio CD, Blown Away, debuts at No. 1, selling 267,000 units according to Nielsen SoundScan.

Blues woman Norah is at No. 2 with Little Broken Hearts, with 110,000. The Now 42 compilation is at No. 3 with 95,000.

Speaking of Norah, the singer will launch a world tour May 25 in Paris. She'll play the Mann Center in Philly on June 28. Info: http://manncenter.org/events/norah-jones.

Kim Kardashian: Thanks, Obama!

"Wow … I just heard that President Obama has officially announced that he supports gay marriage!!" Kim Kardashian writes on her website! "This is such a huge step forward in our country's fight for civil rights."

Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com. This article contains information from Inquirer wire services and websites.