Inmate keeps his emotions prisoner

DEAR ABBY:

I am in a county jail for parole violation, and I have been struck with some not-so-good news while here. On a recent visit with my parents, I learned that my mother, who suffers from a variety of health problems, can no longer work. My father, who must work to cover the cost of her medical care, has been diagnosed with liver cancer.

I don't feel like I have come to terms with my father's illness. Although I know what is eventually to come, I have yet to feel any emotion, good or bad. I'm not sure if I'm blocking it or if I'm being the strong-willed adult I was raised to be by my father and best friend. Am I repressing my emotions?

- Just Another Inmate

DEAR JUST: All people do not react to bad news in the same way - crying, screaming or lashing out. Some go numb for a period of time, until they are ready to process their emotions. Part of your problem may be that because you're incarcerated, you feel helpless.

Not knowing whether psychological counseling is available for prisoners in your jail - or how effective it is if it's offered at all - I'm recommending you discuss this with a chaplain.

DEAR ABBY: I am the mother of a "yours, mine and ours" family. Between us, my husband and I have six children. Fifteen years have passed since our wedding, and I've raised all of them as my own.

Three of the children are on their own now and three remain. The youngest is 14. I recently took my 18-year-old son to the Air Force recruiter to take his entrance test, and as I watched him walk into the building, I started to cry. I realized I don't want them to go away.

I have been a parent since I was 17, and now I'm having a hard time imagining life without them.

- Almost Empty-Nested in Vermont

DEAR ALMOST EMPTY-NESTED: Instead of allowing fear or anxiety to drag you down, look at the bright side. Your nest will be full for four more years - and if there is something about yourself that you see that you don't like, there is plenty of time to do something about it.