Tattle: How bad off is Patrick Swayze?

TATTLE FREQUENTLY deals with two stories on the same topic with opposing facts. When the conflicting reports are about celebs dating, it's funny.

But when the conflicting reports are over somebody gravely ill, it's not so funny.

It was those ghouls at the National Enquirer who first reported that 55-year-old Patrick Swayze ("Dirty Dancing," Ghost") had been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and had only weeks to live.

Yesterday his rep confirmed the story to pagesix.com.

As cancers go, pancreatic cancer is a bitch, with the average life expectancy less than a year.

But also yesterday, a statement from Swayze's rep appeared on perezhilton.com:

"Actor Patrick Swayze has been diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and is currently undergoing treatment. Patrick's physician Dr. George Fisher states, 'Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far. All of the reports stating the timeframe of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic.' Patrick is continuing his normal schedule during this time, which includes working on upcoming projects. The outpouring of support and concern he has already received from the public is deeply appreciated by Patrick and his family."

He's so fine

Comedian, pundit and Minnesota Democratic Senate candidate Al Franken's personal corporation has been fined $25,000 by the New York Workers' Compensation Board for failure to carry workers' compensation insurance for almost three years.

Brian Keegan, a board spokesman, said numerous notices were sent to the address the New York agency had listed for Franken.

Franken didn't become aware of the fine until Tuesday, said his spokesman, Andy Barr.

"If there's a mistake by the Frankens it was an inadvertent mistake as opposed to trying to evade the law," Barr said.

(Tattle once got stopped going 85 mph because we "inadvertently" put too much pressure on the gas pedal.)

The issuance of the fine was made public by Minnesota Democrats Exposed, which thankfully ran no nude photos of Franken. Minnesota Democrats Exposed is a Web site sympathetic to incumbent Republican Sen. Norm Coleman, whom Franken is seeking to unseat in November.

Team Franken believes it may have been a clerical mistake - perhaps also inadvertent - on the part of the Workers' Compensation Board, but it's also possible the Frankens did not keep the insurance current, Barr said.

If that turns out to be true, he said, Franken will pay the fine.

* Also in Minnesota, Garrison Keillor put his St. Paul home up for sale, a few weeks after a dispute with his neighbor over her building plans ended up in court.

The host of "A Prairie Home Companion" is asking $1.65 million dollars for the 7 BR 5 BTH home, according to realtor.com.

In January, Keillor and his wife sued next-door neighbor Lori Anderson to stop her from building a two-story garage-and-studio addition to her house. Keillor's lawsuit charged that the project would "obstruct the access of light and air" to his property.

The lawsuit was settled privately about a week later.

For $1.65 million Tattle wants unobstructed access to light and air. We may be willing to give a bit on the light. Limited air is a deal breaker.

Reese's $3 pieces

The United Nations should pick up the old slogan of MGM: "More stars than there are in heaven."

Tuesday it was Reese Witherspoon visiting the U.N. as part of an effort to raise money for a fund to end worldwide violence against women.

Reese was promoting a $3 bracelet with an infinity symbol signifying opportunities for women. She is the paid "global ambassador" for Avon Products.

(Ding dong. "Hello, Somalian warlords. Avon calling.")

The Avon Foundation pledged to match the first $500,000 in sales of the "Women's Empowerment Bracelet."

Reese said the money would go to a trust fund managed by the U.N. Development Fund for Women to provide education and job training for women and to push for new laws that benefit their standing in some countries.

Since its inception 11 years ago, the fund has granted nearly $18 million to 250 initiatives.

Let's see, $18 million divided by 11 is about $1.64 million per year. In terms of global spending on poverty, isn't that statistically nothing?

Tattbits

* Pink may have a new guy according to In Touch Weekly.

He may be rocker Butch Walker of Butch Walker & the Let's-Go-Out-Tonites! who's written songs for Pink.

* OK! magazine reports Jennifer Aniston is angling to get one of her dogs a walk-on part in the movie version of "Marley & Me."

With the film shooting in Florida before it hopefully comes north for filming in the Inquirer newsroom, Jennifer is bringing her dogs to keep her company on Miami Beach's Star Island.

Norman is the Welsh corgi-terrier mix, Dolly is the German shepherd.

As for a new boyfriend, why settle for a South Beach hunk when you're coming to Philadelphia?

* Also according to OK! a new ruling in Italy forbids men from publicly scratching their groins.

In that rare case of reverse sex discrimination, women with the itch still seem to have permission to take care of it.

What this means when the "Ocean's 11" guys gather around George Clooney's Lake Como pool remains to be seen, but police will be watching. *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com