FINALLY, the secret to

Scarlett Johansson

's chest.

Mucus.

Scarlett appeared on NBC's "Tonight" show Wednesday to promote her new movie, "The Spirit." She said she'd caught a cold from co-star Samuel L. Jackson, and felt her germs had value because they had been passed from one celebrity to another.

Taking a tissue from Jay Leno, Scarlett announced she would sell it on eBay to raise money for the hunger-relief charity USA Harvest. She blew twice, depositing some lipstick and snot.

High bid as of yesterday morning was $2,050, so clearly someone thinks there's enough DNA in that tissue to clone their own Scarlett Johansson.

Tattbits

* Boston's Berklee College

of Music has named Simon & Guest as trustees.

Simon & Guest?

That's right, Paul Simon and Christopher Guest.

The school announced the additions yesterday. Berklee President Roger Brown said, adding that the duo adds to the board's knowledge of education, songwriting, performance and film. Both have honorary doctorates from Berklee.

* Troubled country singer

Mindy McCready, now known as much for her relationship with Roger Clemens as her music career, was in stable condition yesterday after an apparent suicide attempt.

It was not her first. A Nashville police report said McCready's brother found the singer in her bloody bed several hours after she returned Wednesday morning from a night out. Timothy McCready told police that Mindy had been "very intoxicated."

Also not a first. According to the police, Mindy called her mother and told her "she had seen her angel baby." Whatever that means, it was enough to prompt mom to call Tim, who lives with Mindy. Tim told police he found Mindy stumbling in the kitchen but apparently OK. Both returned to their rooms. He went to check on her again after he woke up and found she had cut her wrists and taken pills.

* The animators behind

Wallace & Gromit say they have quashed a pirated recording of a Christmas special leaked on YouTube.

But Aardman Animations, based in Bristol, England, said yesterday it had "no idea" how the material had slipped out. It is not believed to be the work of Somali prates.

Well, Wallace is a dolt so it must have been Gromit.

* "Speed-the-Plow" producer

Jeffrey Richards says Norbert Leo Butz and William H. Macy will replace Jeremy Piven in the critically praised Broadway revival of David Mamet's comedy. Piven ("Entourage") unexpectedly left the play over the weekend, less than two months after the show opened.

Butz will do the show from Tuesday through Jan. 11, Macy from Jan. 13 to the end, Feb. 22.

Reports say doctors told Piven to leave because his levels of mercury had gotten too high.

That's a new one.

Wasn't it in your contract, Jeremy, to limit your tuna sashimi?

"I talked to Jeremy on the phone and he told me that he discovered that he had a very high level of mercury," a not-thrilled Mamet told Daily Variety. "So my understanding is that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer." *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.