HOW HAS Tattle managed to avoid

Spencer Pratt

?

In his own mind the co-star of MTV's "The Hills" is such an important figure in the modern-day pop-culture universe. He's married to Heidi something. They have a cute couples nickname - "Speidi."

Yet somehow, Tattle and Pratt have never crossed paths. Can we have a hallelujah?

Because now that we are aware of the "phenomenon" that is Spencer Pratt, we feel even more sullied than usual. For those of you who have also managed to live in blissful ignorance of Speidi, the too-blond couple were two of the E-listers (Kathy Griffin is at least a full letter grade higher) on the pathetic NBC summer space-filler, "I'm a Desperate Wanna Be - Look at Me! Look at Me!" (aka "I'm a Celebrity . . . Get Me Out of Here")

And how long did Speidi last?

One show.

According to TMZ.com, they quit after the live part of Monday's episode. That's right, they quit.

A source in Costa Rica told TMZ that just before packing it in, Spencer screamed at producers, "If you give me a script, I'll do what you want. I'm not a reality star. I'm on 'The Hills.' "

He added: "I'm a TV producer and a character."

And that character would be a jackass?

* Don't believe us?

Billboard.com reports that Pratt, who deludedly refers to himself as "the white Jay-Z," says he's serious about a career in hip-hop and has begun work on an album.

"It's gonna be catchy ringtone music," Pratt said, "just stuff that is entertaining and that people want to be hearing. I'm not the most serious dude on earth, and my music is going to represent that."

As for Eminem, Pratt says, "Honestly, I used to be the biggest Eminem fan on the planet, but the difference now is that he's so paid. My hustle is the same as his was when he was 25, coming out with his first flow."

Can you believe this guy? If you look up "Tool" in the dictionary, there's a new picture.

Get 'Lost' with Tattle

Thanks to Universal Pictures, Tattle has nifty "Land of the Lost" Chaka backpacks to give out to five lucky winners.

"Land of the Lost," starring Will Ferrell, opens Friday at area theaters.

To have a chance to win, send an e-mail to tattlecontest@philly news.com (no hyphens) by Friday at noon with your name, address, phone number AND the words I'm 'Lost' without my daily Tattle.

Only one entry per e-mail address. The five winners will be picked at random. Good luck.

Tattbits

* Relax tweens, the Hollywood Reporter says "Hannah Montana" will return for a fourth season on Disney Channel.

As part of the deal, Miley Cyrus will get a long hiatus to work on the feature "The Last Song," with production on the fourth season of "Hannah" slated to begin next year. (The third season wraps shooting this week.)

* Judith Ivey will portray

the legendary problem-solving columnist Ann Landers in "The Lady With All the Answers," David Rambo's play drawn from Landers' life and letters - and she got a lot of letters.

The one-woman show begins Oct. 7 at off-Broadway's Cherry Lane Theatre.

* The Hollywood Reporter

says Universal wants to make a live-action family film of "Where's Waldo?"

It will be the third film in a trilogy following "Who's Idea Was That, Waldo?" and "What Were They Thinking, Waldo?" *

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Send e-mail to gensleh@phillynews.com