AS IF THINGS couldn't get worse for Elin Nordegren:
She's now getting relationship advice from a former prostitute.
Ashley Dupre, the high-priced call girl in the Eliot Spitzer scandal, kept her 15-minutes-of-fame meter running by telling "Extra," "[Elin should] take some time to herself, digest everything, go to counseling.
"If she really loves him, and they have those bonds . . . go to therapy, see if you can work it out."
What? The only bonds Elin's going to have will say "U.S. Treasury" on them.
"I believe in love and making it work out," the ex-hooker added. "They can do it."
As for Tiger Woods' harem of cocktail waitresses, Dupre believes that they should have kept their mouths shut - at least once they were done.
"I don't agree with what they're doing," she said. "I don't agree with coming forward."
Dupre said that she was happy to stay out of the public eye until the media outed her. Until then, all her talking was done with money. Loose lips lose tips, and all that. Those big Spitzer bills were not just for the sex but for the discretion.
"I mean, he has a family, he has a wife, he has kids," she said of Tiger. "For people who just come out and say things . . . that's really wrong. You're messing with someone else's life."
Plus, she says, "When you sleep with a married man . . . you're only helping them stay married."
Hmm, that's an interesting way to look at it. Sort of brings new meaning to the adage, "Don't give away your milk when he can get the entire herd for free."
Regarding the Woodsman's behavior, Ashley adds, "I'm not trying to stick up for him at all."
* As if things couldn't get worse for
TMZ.com has learned that his mother-in-law is in town.
* Wait, maybe they can get worse:
Life & Style reports that Playgirl rep Daniel Nardicio confirms that the online magazine has received photos claiming to be Tiger showing all his stripes.
"We're currently trying to authenticate the photos before we make any decisions on purchasing the Tiger Woods pics and ascertaining the value," Nardicio told Life & Style.
* Tiger's possible appearance in Playgirl will be under different circumstances from his cover shoot for Men's Fitness.
According to the New York Post, Woods was rockin' his SUV in spring 2007 with his favorite Perkins server, Mindy Lawton ("I'll have a Twice as Nice Breakfast Combo, Mindy, but hold the sausage"), when they were reportedly photographed by a National Enquirer shooter by her trailer park.
To squash the story, Tiger agreed to shoot a cover for another American Media mag, Men's Fitness, even though he had an exclusive deal with Golf Digest.
"[American Media CEO] David Pecker knew about Tiger Woods' infidelity a long time ago," former editor Neal Boulton told the Post. "[Pecker] traded silence for a Men's Fitness cover."
Pecker denied the charge.
That's the only pecker denial in this whole sordid affair.
* In other Tiger news, Florida trooper Joshua Evans suspected that the world's No. 1 hydrant hitter was driving under the influence at the time of his crash and requested a subpoena for his blood results from the hospital he visited after crashing his SUV.
Prosecutors rejected the petition for insufficient information.
That's weird. Wonder how nice their new pools are going to be.
A witness, who wasn't identified in a police report released yesterday, told trooper Evans that Tiger had been boozing it up earlier in the day.
That same witness also told Evans that Tiger had been prescribed Ambien and Vicodin, but did not say how he knew.
Yup, everyone's crawling out from under their rocks now.
Numerous online sources, and Mistress No. 1, Rachel Uchitel, have claimed that Tiger used the Ambien to heighten his sexual escapades. You know, sex is like winning the Buick Open. Ambien sex is like winning a major.
As for the Vicodin? Did we mention Tiger's mother-in-law is in town?
Now, hat's a prize!
With winter coming and the Eagles making a run at the playoffs, what better time to get a cool hat that's also warm. The Tundra Hat is the creation of Aras Baskauskas, who won "Survivor Panama: Exile Island."
You could customize your own hat at tundragear.com, but we have five green hats with Eagles pins to give away to lucky readers.
Simply send an e-mail with your name, address and phone number to tattlecontest@ phillynews.com (no hyphens or spaces), with the words Tundra Gear in the subject line.
Entry deadline is tomorrow at 5 p.m. Winners will be picked at random. Good luck.
* Shakira followed in the footsteps of Michael Jackson, Mother Teresa, Stephen Hawking and the Dalai Lama when she addressed the Oxford Union yesterday.
A noted philosopher ("Whenever, Wherever") and teller of truths ("Hips Don't Lie"), the 32-year-old singer (another few decades and it will be "Artificial Hips Don't Lie"), used her speech to Oxford students to stress her belief in education for all.
Shakira runs a charity that builds schools for poor children in Colombia.
* A Nashville judge has dismissed a misdemeanor domestic-violence charge against gospel singer BeBe Winans after determining that he had seen a counselor as required by prosecutors.
Winans, 47, had been accused of pushing his ex-wife to the ground Feb. 13 during an argument about their children.
In a statement yesterday, Bebe said, "To be exonerated of all charges shows the power of trusting in God and is a wonderful Christmas gift for me and my children."
Daily News wire services contributed to this report.