ALL THAT stuff we told you yesterday about

Charlie Sheen

's plea bargain . . .

Never mind.

According to TMZ.com, the deal fell apart because Jail Administrative Officer Beverly Campbell refused to give Charlie work release. She felt he was only eligible for "Useful Public Service" (or UPS, or "What can a brown jumpsuit do for you?"), which would not allow him to smoke or eat outside the jail, and his hours of freedom would be more limited.

Sheriff Bob Braudis allegedly agreed to the work release but has since decided to back Beverly.

Charlie's busy attorney, Yale Galanter, told TMZ.com, "People should always honor their agreement, no matter what the circumstances."

(And a million lawyers guffawed heartily.)

Rush to the bank

Rush Limbaugh, 59, married Kathryn Rogers, 33, on Saturday

in Palm Beach, Fla., before 400 people including Karl Rove, Rudy Giuliani, Sean Hannity and Elton John.

Elton John?

He was the entertainment.

So what brought the AIDS-activist rocker to perform at the wedding of a conservative yakker who's mocked AIDS on his radio program?

They're both ex-drug addicts.

They both believe in civil unions for gay couples.

One million dollars.

That's how much Sir Elton got paid to serenade the Limbaughs.

And maybe that's a strategy: Take Rush's money and use it to fund causes he finds repellent.

* In other British classic rock news,

"The Last Testament of George Harrison," a DVD due Sept. 1, claims, with startling, new, revisionist history, that Paul McCartney really is dead.

According to the voice of Harrison (or a suitable impressionist), Sir Paul was killed in a 1966 car crash and replaced with a double because the British government was afraid of mass suicides among shrieking teenage girls should the "truth" leak out.

Finally, a plausible explanation for "Ebony and Ivory."

Tattle on theater

Every once in a generation Tattle leaves our fortress of celebrity solitude to partake in a live, communal artistic experience.

This time it was "Love Jerry," by Megan Gogerty, the controversial pedophile musical being presented by Nice People Theatre Company through June 20.

When Gogerty, an Iowa professor, was in town for the opening, she told us about the news story that led to the play - a woman found a stash of self-made kiddie porn on her boyfriend's computer and didn't instantly throw him out. Gogerty thought her behavior bizarre and remarkable - she would have tossed him - and thought there would be drama (and, in this case, music) in a fictionalized, theatrical rendering of this most heinous of crimes.

Can you love (like or even tolerate) a man who's excellent qualities are overwhelmed by his one fatal, criminal flaw? And what goes on inside such a person's head?

It sure sounds like the stuff of drama. How many killers, adulterers and thieves have populated stages through the centuries?

But "Love Jerry's" subject makes it different. Pedophilia rightly freaks people like no other crime.

Philly.com wouldn't take the play's ad (an Internet campaign turned that into a plus) and the Inquirer's review didn't so much review the play as dismiss it, as if trying to understand and empathize with the worst qualities in us is somehow not worthy of theater.

Isn't that a purpose of theater?

"Love Jerry" may not be for your grandmother or a first date, but not every show can be "Cats." The play no more endorses child abuse than "Macbeth" endorses murder.

Tickets: nicepeopletheatre.org.

Tattbits

* Chris Brown has been denied

entry into England, postponing his tour.

He had been refused a visa because of his criminal record.

The Home Office said Chris applied for his visa last week (nothing like waiting until the last minute).

The promoter said yesterday that the tour had been postponed "due to unforeseen circumstances."

Actually, they seem very much like foreseeable circumstances.

* Two early sci-fi stories by the late

crime novelist Stieg Larsson ("The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo") have been uncovered in Stockholm, the Swedish National Library said yesterday.

Larsson sent the short stories ("The Crystal Balls" and "The Flies") to the Swedish science fiction magazine Jules Verne when he was 17, but the magazine rejected them.

* Another day, another tell-all.

Gallery Books announced yesterday that former KISS lead guitarist Ace Frehley is working on "No Regrets," a look back at a "life of sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll." It's due in 2011.

Isn't "Speaking Frehley" a better title?

* Heidi Montag has filed for separ-

ation from Spencer Pratt.

She cited irreconcilable differences in a court document submitted yesterday in Santa Monica, Calif.

"The Hills" stars married last April. It's been downhill since.

In a related story, one of Heidi's giant, balloon-like breasts, filed for separation from the other one.

* L.A. Superior Court Judge

Marsha Revel yesterday doubled Lindsay Lohan's bail to $200,000 after finding the actress violated the terms of her release with an adverse report by an alcohol ankle monitor.

A source familiar with Lindsay's case told the Associated Press that the violation was reported after Lindsay appeared at the MTV Movie Awards on Sunday night.

* And in another alcohol-related

story, soon-to-wed Katy Perry told "Extra's" Jerry Penacoli that she wants her bachelorette party to be "the best last party I ever have!"

Katy said, "I want to be found in an alley way, pissing myself with one of those penis hats on my head . . . "

It's good to have a goal.

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.