Tattle: The split hits the fan: A slew of celeb couples go kablooey, to our dismay

PHIL COLLINS said it - maybe not best, but he said it: Doesn't anybody stay together anymore?

Quirky actors Courteney Cox and David Arquette? Done, after 11 years of marriage, one kid and, he admitted yesterday, a pair of wandering eyes.

Lovely actress Laura Dern and lovely Grammy winner Ben Harper? Five-plus years and two kids, then an apparently blindsided delivery of divorce papers from him to her.

Now, in the same week, glamorous singer Christina Aguilera and dorky-cute music industry exec Jordan Bratman, together eight years, married five and parents of one, have announced they're over.

OK, maybe this isn't the A+ list, but these couples appeared to have something solid going on, despite living in a land where married life has been known to begin and end in a single news cycle.

Tattle Main Man Howard Gensler thinks that virtually every celebrity marriage is a sham waiting to implode. Girl Tattle's more of a romantic.

We take these splits hard.

And devour every detail.

Unidentified Aguilera/Bratman source: "They were very much in love. But over the last six months, it became clear they were more like friends than husband and wife."

Unidentified Dern/Arnold source cited by TMZ.com: "Although Ben claims he and Laura have been separated since January, the couple showed up together at Eddie Vedder's wedding late last month. And sources connected with the couple tell us Laura and Ben have been intimate as recently as last week."

Arquette, identified and unfiltered yesterday on Howard Stern's Sirius Radio show: "We've [been] on a trial separation for a while now" and haven't been intimate for months. Apparently Cox's choice.

"I completely understand. . . . She's an emotional being, she's an amazing woman. If it doesn't feel right, she doesn't feel like bonding in that way."

Arquette also admitted that he had bonded in that way with another woman after he and Courteney agreed to separate.

Schwimmer jumps in anywayEven as his former "Friends" co-star Cox announced her separation, David Schwimmer confirmed that he's been married for four months to British photographer Zoe Buckman.

He's 44, she's 25, and neither had been married before they tied the knot in early June in a small, private ceremony. They met in 2007 while he was in Britain directing "Run, Fat Boy, Run." She worked as a waitress at the Cuckoo Club, in London's West End.

Still solid as a rockConan O'Brien and his longtime sidekick, Andy Richter, will reunite when O'Brien's late-night talk show debuts Nov. 8 on TBS.

Richter and O'Brien spent seven years on NBC's "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" before Richter left in 2000. He returned last year for O'Brien's short-lived stint on "The Tonight Show." Richter also did some side projects with team Conan.

"I am mostly looking forward to getting out of the house again," Richter said.

Where there's a WillNo matter what role he plays, Will Smith is always a charming presence on-screen. Not so much offscreen.

The New York Post's Page 6 reports work on "Men in Black 3," which started preproduction in Manhattan last month, has stopped because the star, director Barry Sonnenfeld and producers are dueling over the script.

Sony studio bigs said that the stoppage was a temporary response to changes in New York State's movie-incentive program, but Page 6 isn't buying it, and neither are we.

Smith has a history of throwing his weight around on set. In March, there were reports that his meddling led to an eight-day break on the set of his wife Jada Pinkett Smith's TNT show, "HawthoRNe."

His former "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" co-star Janet Hubert wrote in her book, "Perfection Is Not a Sitcom Mom," that Smith "had people around him who made sure no one outshone him."

Art for Art's sakeWhose kids will say the darndest things?

That's the question as Lifetime and TLC both plan to roll out kid-based series next year modeled after Art Linkletter's classic and hosted by Heidi Klum and Brad Garrett, respectively.

"Seriously Funny Kids" (the working title) will have Klum - the mother of four kids under age 6 - interacting with children. Presumably not in the Austrian ice-princess mode that she employs on "Project Runway."

Garrett's TLC program will be exec-produced by Ryan Seacrest.

Daily News wire services contributed to this report.

Howard Gensler is on vacation.