Sideshow: A new-'do look for Beyonce

News comes in all shapes and sizes. There's vacuous fluff (see below), breaking crime stories, urgent disaster reports.

Then there's Beyoncé news. That, above all, is vital news. Important news.

And news you can use to better yourself.

Numerous media sources are reporting that Jay Z's wife and Blue Ivy's mom has sheared her hair, those hip-hop-flavored Rapunzel tresses (and skillfully deployed extensions) we've grown to love.

B posted an Instagram pic late Wednesday night that showed her with a short - very, very short - blond pixie cut.

"I am blessed and fortunate to say that my son Usher V is doing well and is recovering," says megastar singer Usher, whose son nearly drowned in a pool on Monday.

"I would especially like to thank the two men who saved my son's life," says Usher, referring to the two contractors who were on site for a job and pulled Usher V out.

What would Ashton Kutcher, who plays late Apple founder Steve Jobs in the biopic Jobs, ask Jobs if the tech maven were still alive?

"Steve Jobs was a brutally honest guy. He just wanted you to be better at whatever it was," Ashton says, according to USA Today. "I'd try to explain to him the things that I'm trying to achieve and get his honest feedback. And I think he, unlike most people, wouldn't be afraid to tell me."

How much would you pay to watch a biopic about the life and loves of Hulk Hogan? About the many weights he pumped and all the foes he thumped? Priceless, right? A movie is "being worked on right now, brotha," the wrestler tells TMZ.

Come with me to the Simon Cowell circus! London's Mirror tab reports Simon is giving his baby's mama, Lauren Silverman, a $15 mil Beverly Hills manse close to his pad so he'll have easy access to the baby.

Cowell, the tab says, owns many houses and palms them off to girlfriends he has dumped. But Us Weekly says Cowell and Lauren, who reportedly have been hooking up since 2009, are very much in love.

The New York Daily News says Lauren's hub, Andrew, is enraged not so much by his wife's betrayal, but by the fact the scandal has ended his bromance with BFF Cowell.

Unnamed Source says Andrew didn't care that Lauren and Cowell were carrying on "as long as he could hang out with Simon and play on his yacht."

Adulterers-turned-husband-and-wife Eddie Cibrian, 40, and LeAnn Rimes, 30, will star in a VH1 reality show next year, says the New York Daily News. LeAnn & Eddie will "bring the truth and make fun of all the gossip" about the couple, VH1 says.

Steve Colbert wasn't too happy when red-hot comeback band Daft Punk backed out of an appearance on Comedy Central's Colbert Report. They said they had an exclusive agreement with MTV and would not play on any other show before MTV's Video Music Awards on Sunday. The Colbster took the silliest of revenges. In an epic video, he dances to Daft Punk's "Get Lucky." A major feat of wackiness and stamina, it features guest stars Hugh Laurie, Jeff Bridges, Charlie Rose, Jimmy Fallon, Henry Kissinger, the Rockettes, Matt Damon, and, because he is everywhere, Bryan Cranston of the soon-to-be-done Breaking Bad.

- John Timpane

      FoxNews.com has revealed that Trenton-born The Sandlot actor Tom Guiry, 31 , was arrested in a Houston airport on Saturday for allegedly headbutting a police officer. The cop was trying to escort him out after he was turned away from his flight because he appeared intoxicated. . . . The company that put on the funeral of Rihanna's beloved gran Clara Brathwaite in Barbados is suing Ri-Ri for the remainder of a claimed $150,000 price tag. The company says she paid only a quarter. Cheapskate! . . . Asked yet again if there'll be a Friends reunion, Lisa Kudrow tells Conan O'Brien it's "never going to happen."

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Charlie Sheen has posted a photo of himself with three ladies he calls his new Angels. All four individuals are topless.

Sydney Leathers, one of the recipients of politico Anthony Weiner's cyberattentions, has gotten an interview on Howard Stern's show, a part in a porn film - and a journalism assignment! Webmag xoJane.com has asked Sydney to compose a 10-point manual on how to seduce a politician.

. . . most performatively.

Lady Gaga appears fully, totally, and irrevocably nude in a video promo for the Marina Abramovic Institute, a learning retreat for performance artists. Gaga is shown doing performance arty-type things with crystals. She was practicing the Abramovic method, which helps hone your skills for "observing long durational performances through a series of exercises and environments designed to increase awareness of their physical and mental experience in the moment," the institute's website says. OK, that's clear . . ..