Dishing up the babes and blood

For anyone whose vacation has turned ugly and who has found himself uttering those regretful words "should have,"

Turistas

is for you.

Or, definitely not for you.

"We should have waited for the bus," "we should have gone back to the village," "we should have taken a plane" - yup, yup and yup, that's what the buff, beautiful backpackers of John Stockwell's grisly nightmare should have done.

Instead, they get their belly pierces left on an operating table, after several organs have been removed.

An effectively discomfiting tale of a sybaritic Brazilian getaway gone bad, Turistas starts with a group of handsome young travelers rattling down a road in a rickety bus, steered by an impatient, distracted driver. Happily, when the bus comes to a halt on the edge of a steep descent, everyone gets out before the rusted heap tumbles over.

More happily, there's a bar down there in a hidden cove, teeming with lovely locals, blaring beats, and sand and surf to die for.

Literally.

Stockwell has a voyeuristic appreciation of the human form. As in the director's "Blue" movies - Into the Blue, with Jessica Alba and Paul Walker, and Blue Crush, with Kate Bosworth - there's plenty of rippling musculature and glistening skin in Turistas. (And plenty of swimming, too - idyllic ocean splashes, and terror-fraught chases in a network of underwater caves.) Josh Duhamel could be Paul Walker's double; he and his six-pack play Alex, the wary older brother opposite Olivia Wilde's fun-seeking teenage sis, Bea. Melissa George, bright-eyed and beaming, is the globetrotter from down under - and the sole member of the party who speaks Portugese. Beau Garrett, a Guess model, plays Amy, who insists on going topless for a swim. A pair of party-hardy Brits (Desmond Askew, Max Brown) offer happy encouragement.

And then there is Zamora (Miguel Lunardi), the sick-o bad guy. How sick? In lieu of a mere reprimand, he jabs a kabob stick in the eye of a bumbling associate. This good fellow oversees a gang that lures foreigners to his jungle lair, where he then performs surgery: extracting kidneys and livers for use in hospitals back in Rio and Sao Paulo.

Turistas, the inaugural release from 20th Century Fox's new genre label, Fox Atomic, is nasty stuff.

It's xenophobic (message: Americans, steer clear of the Third World); it's photogenic (the Sports Illustrated-like swimsuit issue beach scenes, the colorful villages, the lush landscapes); it's gruesome (operating table POV shots); and it's violent.

And it gallops along with a suspenseful, dead-on sense of dread.

Produced by Scott Steindorff, Bo Zenga, Marc Butan and John Stockwell, directed by Stockwell, written by Michael Arlen Ross, photography by Enrique Chediak, music by Paul Haslinger, distributed by Fox Atomic.

Running time: 1 hour, 29 mins.

Alex. . . Josh Duhamel

Bea. . . Olivia Wilde

Pru. . . Melissa George

Amy. . . Beau Garrett

Zamora. . . Miguel Lunardi

Parent's guide: R (violence, sex, nudity, drug use, adult themes)

Playing at: area theaters

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