We hate you, ‘Beth Cooper’ — really, we do

I was distracted during "I Love You Beth Cooper" by the mystery of why Paul Rust was in it.

Not Paul Rudd.

Paul Rust.

Who is Paul Rust?

That's what I wanted to know.

Turns out he's a comedian (you can see his work on Adam Mc-Kay's site funnyordie.com), though you'd never know it by "Beth Cooper," an almost diabolically unfunny comedy about a nerd valedictorian (Rust) who declares his love for the school bombshell (Hayden Panettiere) during his commencement address.

The address itself is not funny, the consequences are not funny, and neither is Rust, who displays a consistent inability to get laughs from physical comedy. That's a liability in a picture that has him hit by a car and half a dozen bullies.

No Jim Carrey, he, and also no Cary Grant. I don't want to make too much of someone's looks, but Rust seems to have fallen from the peak of the homely tree and hit every branch on the way down, as they say.

Being anti-handsome, of course, hasn't stopped Michael Cera from having a lucrative career as a leading man before today's merciful female audience, but Rust (at least here) has none of Cera's effortless nerd charm, even less of his chin, and all of his schnoz.

The movie does answer one question: What's director Chris Columbus been doing with his free time?

Not much, it appears.