A Queen, a cab, a clunker
Much as I revere Queen Latifah, who swans like the bioengineered love child of Mae West and Whoopi Goldberg, apart from her there's not much to like about Taxi, a pothole-ridden buddy comedy that pairs the Queen with joker Jimmy Fallon. In this adaptation of the 1998 French blockbuster of the same name, Latifah plays Belle, a Manhattan bike messenger who flies from borough to borough, pumping up the r.p.m. by caroming off cars and trucks. Belle, who secretly wants to be a NASCAR driver, has been saving for years to buy her own yellow cab.
Much as I revere Queen Latifah, who swans like the bioengineered love child of Mae West and Whoopi Goldberg, apart from her there's not much to like about Taxi, a pothole-ridden buddy comedy that pairs the Queen with joker Jimmy Fallon.
In this adaptation of the 1998 French blockbuster of the same name, Latifah plays Belle, a Manhattan bike messenger who flies from borough to borough, pumping up the r.p.m. by caroming off cars and trucks. Belle, who secretly wants to be a NASCAR driver, has been saving for years to buy her own yellow cab.
No sooner does Belle get behind the wheel of her very own turbocharged taxi than Washburn (Fallon), a flustered NYPD flatfoot, commandeers her vehicle. His license has been revoked for too many moving violations. And based on how Washburn has already botched a black-market bust, his police judgment is worse than his driving.
Director Tim Story's film has two speeds: pedal-to-metal and screeching halt. The former is guaranteed to make the audience carsick, the latter to give it whiplash.
Thankfully, Story, who made the by-far-superior Barbershop, gets a confident performance from Latifah, whose Belle thinks faster than she drives.
In about the time it takes her to get from zero to 160, she's figured out the culprits of a bank-heist scheme plaguing Manhattan. The robbers are cover girls led by Gisele Bündchen. Apparently, supermodels don't have sufficient funds to cover the cost of clothes and beauty maintenance.
Fallon, whose appeal has always eluded me, plays a dumb cluck so convincingly that he lays several eggs during the course of this movie. In sketch comedy, cracking up at your own jokes might amuse the audience, but in a movie it helps to stay in character.
Ann-Margret makes a big impression in a small part as Washburn's Mom, a ditsy dipsomaniac who loves her son but loves margaritas even more.
The film's laughs, such as they are, come from its assumption that black women are smart and white men are stupid. This slant, which is effectively proven by the casting of these two particular actors, is guaranteed to flatter a majority of viewers.
But if Queen Latifah is really so smart and not merely playing someone who is, then what is she doing in such a dim movie?
Contact movie critic Carrie Rickey at 215-854-5402 or crickey@phillynews.com.
Taxi ** (out of four stars)
All hail the Queen - but let her 'Taxi' just pass on by
Produced by Luc Besson, directed by Tim Story, written by Robert Ben Garant, Thomas Lennon and Jim Kouf, based on the film by Luc Besson, photography by Vance Burberry, music by Christophe Beck, distributed by Twentieth Century Fox.
Running time: 1 hour, 37 mins.
Belle. . . Queen Latifah
Washburn. . . Jimmy Fallon
Jesse. . . Henry Simmons
Washburn's Mom. . . Ann-Margret
Vanessa. . . Gisele Bündchen
Parent's guide: PG-13 (threat of violence, profanity)
Playing at: area theaters
Movie Review
Taxi ** (Out of four stars)
In area theaters today