12 ways gut-bug transplants for weight loss could change the world

Say what? Did a scientist tell the New York Times that "transplanting feces from thin people" could be a therapy for obesity?

Yes, indeedy. We quoteth:

"Researchers found pairs of human twins in which one was obese and the other lean. They transferred gut bacteria from these twins into mice and watched what happened. The mice with bacteria from fat twins grew fat; those that got bacteria from lean twins stayed lean."

That's why Michael Fischbach of the University of California, San Francisco, suggested poop transplants. "I have little doubt that that will be the next thing that happens," he said.

OK, the idea was pooh-poohed by another researcher who wants to wait to identify the bacteria/chemicals/mechanisms in question.

Still, the mind reels. This discovery could change everything. Envision the wild possibilities:

1. Chris Christie elected president.

2. The term "giving someone crap" takes on a whole new meaning.

3. Yoplait markets Yopoo.

4. One-a-Day Suppositories.

5. "Me, I'm a proctologist!" will be said with swagger at cocktail parties.

6. Informercials for Do-It-Yourselves Tookus Transfusion Kits.

7. Biggest Loser will fire personal trainers, hire plumbers.

8. Bids for thin person's colostomy bag up to $87.95 on eBay.

9. "You too can have Jamie Lee Curtis' intestinal bacteria!"

10. "Little brown pill" becomes more popular than "little blue pill."

11. Fortune 500 company revives sagging fortunes by licensing new uses for name "Microsoft."

12. No. 2 becomes No. 1.

Contact staff writer Peter Mucha at 215-854-4342 or pmucha@phillynews.com.