Grandparents trying sobriquets with style

As a professional belly dancer, Rima Synnestvedt says she's not your "normal, regular grandma."

So like many baby-boomers becoming first-time grandparents, Synnestvedt, 62, wanted to be called something nontraditional. She suggested Rimom.

Her daughter liked the idea. After all, as a result of a divorce, there were three grandmothers in this newborn's circle of love, so Nana and Grandma were already taken.

These days, in addition to fretting over what to name the baby, we're faced with what to call the grandparents - especially the new grandmother.

Certainly, the sheer number of aging boomers - the grandparent ranks are growing by 3 million a year - demands that they get creative if they want to stand out.

But that's not the only factor prompting a shift from Grandmom to Rimom.

Attitudes about aging are changing, divorce and remarriage can result in eight or more grandparents per child, and because of increased longevity, great-grandparents are holding on to their monikers longer.

"Nobody's complaining about becoming a grandparent," says Lin Wellford, who wrote The New Grandparents Name Book (ArtStone Press, 2009). "We boomers just don't want to be called grandma."

Mary Eileen Williams, who blogs about the issue on "Feisty Side of Fifty," agrees.

"It's not that we're trying to hide our ages," Williams says. "We're just not the droopy-bosomed, apron-clad grannies of the past."

She cites the forever-young Goldie Hawn, who at 64, is among the celebrity Glam-Mas.

"We are transforming the spirit and style of aging," Williams says. "And we're going to be grandparents for decades, so it makes sense that we want a say in what we're going to be called." These days, a boomer can expect to be a grandparent for several decades.

Williams went with Grammy. And if you think that's awfully similar to Granny, you are seriously underestimating the power of consonants. (She saw the name as traditional, but with a twist.)

Just like new moms, new grands often look to their roots for the right name. So, Abuela hits the spot with Spanish speakers, and Ann Eiswerth of Center City goes by the German Oma.

"I have a German background," Eiswerth says, "so it's not too far-fetched."

Mary Coyne, 74, who lives near Washington Square, goes by Nauna (pronounced nona) which is what she called her Croatian grandmother. Her husband, 73, decided against the Croatian equivalent, deja or dedo, choosing instead to go with the adorable Grumps.

Bubbe, the Yiddish term that long conjured images of wrinkled women in babushkas, is making a comeback among thoroughly modern Jewish grandmas.

"It has to do with tradition, connection, and continuity," said Bev Cohen, 64, an early retiree in Skippack. "I called both of my grandmothers Bubbe, and my children called my mother Bubbe, so it seemed like a natural choice for me."

Betty Kaplan, a culinary instructor who lives in Queen Village, also is a Bubbe - an especially easy name for babies to say, she noted.

Sue and Lew Fleishman of Huntingdon Valley opted for Safta and Saba, the Hebrew terms for grandmother and grandfather.

"We wanted the grandchildren to know that Hebrew is a living language," says Sue Fleishman, who cares for her Lansdale grandchildren, George, 3, and Charlotte, 2, every Friday while pining for her two Boston-based grandkids.

"Our kids call my wife's mother Mum-mum," Lew Fleishman said. "And the grandchildren call her Mum-mum-mum.

"If we have another generation, it's going to really sound like a bunch of mumble."

Grands don't always get to name themselves.

"Some expectant moms become momzillas and try to dictate what grandmom will be called," Wellford says.

Patti Klein, owner of the public relations firm The Restaurant Collection, knew she didn't want to be called Bubbe - "Bubbe makes me think of orthopedic shoes, gray hair in a bun, and bifocals" - so she suggested Bubbles, a modern twist on the traditional. But her daughter vetoed that.

So Klein and both her daughters checked for ideas online and agreed on Nona, "because my father was Italian and we liked the idea of carrying on that tradition."

It's no surprise that some women plan ahead, thinking about themselves as grandmothers-to-be as soon as their kids are in college.

Lina Hartocolis of Mount Airy already knows she'll be called Yaya, in keeping with her Greek background (her great-grandmother was Big-Yaya), even though her 30-year-old son shows no signs of marrying any time soon.

Jeanne Isaacman of Jenkintown is already MeMom to her grandchildren (the result of a mispronunciation that stuck), but great-grandmotherhood can't come soon enough.

Despite the absence of any pregnant grandchildren, she already has laid claim to her future status: GG.