Dad never touched her, but did he abuse her?

DEAR ABBY: Is there such a thing as non-physical sexual abuse? When I was young, my father would fondle my mother when I came to sleep with them when I had a nightmare. (She would rebuff his advances.) He would also watch porn in front of me.

As I matured, he made comments about my figure. He'd tell dirty jokes or talk about sexually inappropriate things. But with all of this, he never touched me or assaulted me.

As I grew up I thought the only thing I had to offer was being sexy. Thankfully, therapy and my husband helped me to see myself as a fully dynamic person.

I recently began seeing a new counselor who thinks my father was just a dirty old man - nothing more. Was I abused?

- Wondering in Wisconsin

DEAR WONDERING: When a parent attempts to initiate sex or watch pornography in front of a child, it is sexualizing behavior and it could also be considered "grooming" behavior. Your father's actions were so far out of the normal boundaries that they were off the charts. And yes, it was a form of abuse. My advice is to change counselors.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is mentally ill, homeless and on meth. A year ago, she asked if I would take her 3-year-old daughter, "Lucy." It was fine when I thought that the arrangement was temporary, but when I realized I would be raising Lucy as a single parent at 49, things got hard.

I get no respite. Constant contact drains me. I'm afraid I'm just going to lose it. I feel such resentment. I'm starting to think I may have to give Lucy up, and that breaks my heart. Please help me. - End of My Rope

DEAR END: How much time do you need to recharge? Would a neighbor watch your grandchild on a regular basis if you compensated her or him? How about the person who already takes care of Lucy while you're at work? Please explore these options if you haven't already. However, if you feel that you might harm her, it would be better if you placed her for adoption or in foster care.