Get a gift? Don't forget the thank-you

DEAR ABBY: With the holidays approaching, a reminder is in order. People: Don't forget those thank-you notes! I don't mean an email, but a real, honest-to-gosh thank-you note sent through the mail with postage.

My mother always told me that a gift is not truly yours until a proper thank-you has been sent. She said that it "completed the transfer." I was not allowed to play with the item or use it until that note was written.

This is especially true for young people today, who seemingly were not taught this in school or by their parents. Very young children can draw a picture, and the parent can add a line to say it was drawn to express thanks. As the child matures, he/she can use his/her own words of gratitude.

I can't tell you how many parents comment on the absence of this display of etiquette. Good manners are never out of date. They are noticed and appreciated.

- Elinor in Surprise, Ariz.

DEAR ELINOR: Not a day goes by that I don't receive letters and emails from readers who are upset enough to write because they haven't received a thank-you note for a birthday, graduation, wedding or holiday gift they sent.

Chief among the reasons that thank-you notes aren't sent is that many people don't know what to say. They think that the note has to be a long, flowery composition when, in fact, short and to the point is more effective.

Keeping a notepad handy when opening gifts and immediately taking a moment to jot down the first thought that comes to mind is helpful. (Example: Do you like the color? The style? Is it something you had been looking for and couldn't find? Is it a special homemade treat? Mmmm.) Write it down.

While letter-writing or even emailing may seem like a chore, there are times when a handwritten note is the most appropriate means of communicating one's thoughts.