Her lover's ex says he's still her husband

DEAR ABBY: I have been intimately involved with another woman. Our relationship has been great for the past eight months. There is an immense amount of love and care for each other. Although we have been together, we do not live together.

My problem is, she's still living with her ex-husband. They have been separated for 12 years, but circumstances have brought them back into the same residence. I don't have an issue with their "roommate" situation. I have been to their home, have stayed the night and I'm OK with their arrangement.

What I do take issue with is him introducing himself as her husband. Since I heard him do that, I have been in an uncomfortable state. Am I wrong for feeling this way, or is she wrong for allowing it to happen?

- Seething in Sacramento

DEAR SEETHING: Whether this couple has been separated for 12 years or not, they are still legally married. He is her husband. You may be feeling uncomfortable because you feel like you may be involved in a triangle, and from where I sit it may be true. It's time to have a frank conversation with your partner to clarify exactly what your role is.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a young professional female with a military background. I'm well-educated and have a great job. However, I am also tattooed. The design is a tasteful full sleeve, with some work on my chest and other arm.

I will be attending a black-tie affair for my boyfriend's company and am wondering what attire would be appropriate for such an event. I'm not ashamed of my art, and I have no issue with baring my arms, but would this be acceptable in this circumstance?

- Forever Covered

DEAR FOREVER COVERED: It depends upon what kind of company your boyfriend works for. If it's creative, then to display your body art would not be shocking. However, if the company culture is conservative, it might attract unwelcome attention, and I don't recommend it.