Hands-on uncle is cruising for a bruising
Steve & Mia also counsel woman who's not sure sex is the right step with new guy.
Q:The holidays are coming up, and that means getting together with my extended family. I'm 25 and have been together for nearly a year with a guy I hope to marry. I'll be introducing him to my family at the holiday gatherings. Here's is what's got me in knots: my Uncle Earl. He's married to my mom's sister and, after a few drinks, he starts putting his hands on me. I have threatened to tell my aunt, but she's such a sweet, kind woman. I know it would humiliate her, so I can't bring myself to do it. My uncle only gets this way when he drinks, which isn't all the time. If he puts his hands on me and my boyfriend sees it, there will be a big scene. I can try to avoid him, but that's nearly impossible with so many people coming and going. I'm sick about this. Any ideas?
Steve: Yes, a preemptive strike. Call your uncle. Tell him you look forward to introducing your boyfriend to him.
Then say, "Uncle Earl I don't want to embarrass the family, but if you touch me I will tell my boyfriend. He will walk up to you and break your nose with one punch. Then he will drag you by your feet to the front door and throw you out onto the sidewalk head first. I promise you this." That will end his misbehavior, one way or the other.
Mia: What a slime ball. I feel sorry for your aunt. Do what Steve suggests, but do so with a light tone to your voice. Say, "Uncle, ha ha ha, my boyfriend is a jealous man and I'd hate to see you get your a-- kicked. Ha ha ha."
It'll help make things less awkward when you have to encounter him at a holiday gathering. Also, keep an eye out for any cousins and others your uncle may be getting touchy feely with. For the well-being of your family, you may have to have a showdown.
Q: I met a guy last month on Match.com. We went out a few times, and he has been talking with me about sex and wanting us to be intimate. On our third date, I went over to his house and things got pretty hot and heavy. He was getting naked before I managed to stop things. Afterward, he made it clear that he's not ready for a committed relationship, but he does want us to have sex.
It's been a while since I've been with anybody, and I am overdue for male companionship. Should I sleep with him, even though he has made it clear that I'm not his girlfriend and that he's still corresponding with women online? It has been a really long time for me.
Mia: If your goal is to merely scratch a sexual itch, have sex with him and try not to go nuts if you bump into him out with another woman he met online.
If what you really want is a committed relationship that could lead to a marriage or a long-term relationship, hold off until you at least have some sort of an emotional connection with each other. The choice is yours.
Steve: If you can handle the sex without emotional attachment, go ahead. If you can't, then wait for a guy who's looking for more than a booty call.