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He's got two lovers, and he ain't ashamed

Q: I've been seeing this girl kind of casually. We never really defined things. Then I met someone else and started seeing her, too. The first girl found out, and now she won't have anything to do with me. Now that's she gone, I really miss her. I'm not sure what to do.

Steve: I know exactly where she's coming from, and so do the Flirtations "Nothing but a heartache every day.
Nothing but a tear drop all of the way."

Continue to be her friend. Make no demands. Apologize. Perhaps she'll give you a second chance, even though "loving a bad guy is such a sin."

Q: I had a rough time when my college girlfriend broke up with me two years after we graduated. My life was a mess. I'd been laid off from work, and I was living alone, depressed, lonely, and miserable. Three weeks ago, I met another woman who seemed drawn by my problems. She was understanding, encouraging, and I feel like I'm on the edge of romance. I've heard that your first new girlfriend, after your last one dumped you, almost never works out. But I want to try. What are the odds?

I would try that for a while if I were you. Maybe, just maybe, you'll beat the odds.

Mia: Steve, you're killing me with all these songs. It was cute at first, but, c'mon dude! Now to the letter writer, I have this to say: Stop worrying about things working out. Relax. Focus on the present. Enjoy the excitement that comes with dating a new squeeze. You're still in the getting-to-know-you stage. Worry about the long-term implications later.

Between them, Steve and Mia have logged more than a few decades in the single-and-dating world. They're also wise to the ways of married life. They don't always agree, but they have plenty of answers. Contact them at S&M c/o Daily News, 801 Market St., Philadelphia, PA 19107 or