Q: I am a 61-year-old male and, believe it or not, I'm a virgin. I have several platonic female friends. I go out with them on social dates. They do not consider me a potential romantic partner. I would like to have a romantic relationship but am not sure how I should go about this. Any advice?
Steve: Having platonic female friends is a blessing, and you shouldn't mess that up by trying to get romantically involved. Your best bet is finding someone new, through social media or perhaps a friend of one of your female friends.
Speed dating is also worth a try and is available in all age groups. The more opportunities you have, the better your chances of setting off sparks.
Plus, you can get free advice from your female posse.
Mia: Unfortunately, there's a stigma associated with virginity today, especially for men over a certain age, but the right woman will appreciate the choices you've made.
What you should ask yourself is, what you are looking for in a relationship. Do you want sex? Do you want romance? Do you want companionship? Once you know what you want, try a dating site that caters to that crowd.
If you need help creating a profile, ask one of your female friends. But be very cognizant in any new relationship of women who put you in the friend zone. Make it clear to the women you meet that you are looking for something more.
Q: I'm in my mid-20s and haven't had a relationship where I had such a strong connection with a woman as I have now. She says how special I am to her and how much she likes me. However, outside of lunch, which we have three times a week, and text messages, we have gotten together at night only five times in the six weeks I've known her. She never lets me come to her apartment, saying that her roommate, who holds the lease, has a strict no-guests policy. Often I ask her out, but she is too busy or she'll cancel. She said we're exclusive but doesn't want to label us boyfriend/girlfriend yet. The sex is great, but I'm confused about what's going on here.
Steve: Look carefully at the ring finger on her left hand. Patch of skin paler than the rest? If not, then she's probably not married. That's the good news. The bad news is that she's got a boyfriend. Tell her it's time to place her cards on the table.
Mia: If you were really exclusive, she'd use the boyfriend/girlfriend label. That said, if you've known her for only six weeks, five night dates and lunch three times a week seems like a good amount of contact.
It sounds to me like she's interested in you but may be weighing other options. If you want a real relationship with this woman, ask her to make a decision. If it's just the great sex you're into, then don't push your luck - stop asking questions.
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