Q: I let a really nice man who I met online spend the night recently. Nothing happened. I barely kissed him. I was way over on my side of the bed. Once he fell asleep, he started snoring real loud. At first, I couldn't sleep but I must have drifted off because when I opened my eyes in the morning, he was looking right at me. I asked him what was wrong, and he said I was snoring. To prove it, he pulled out his iPhone and played back a video recording of me that he made while I was asleep. I felt very violated. Should I have said something?
Steve: Yes. You should have told him to let you watch him delete the recording from his phone. If he declined, then you should've excused yourself to call the police. It is illegal to record another person without their consent in an area (i.e. your bedroom) where they have an expectation of privacy.
Mia: Girrrrl, you'd better check his phone to see what else he recorded while you were asleep. A man who will secretly record you snoring also may take iPhone video of you sleeping. Maybe with your T-shirt pulled up, or worse. If you continue seeing this dude, make it clear that your bedroom is a cellphone-free zone and that you are not to be photographed or recorded without consent. Also, quit with the we're-just-friends sleepovers until you're ready to become sexually intimate.
Q: I told my guy I would go to something called "Pole Wars" at a strip club. I've never been before but think it could be fun. What should I expect?
Mia: For starters, strippers are there to make money. Bring lots of dollar bills with you and give them out. You'll get better service. Also, if a stripper approaches and asks you if you want a lap dance, don't get all stank about it. She's not a mind reader. If you decide to get one, keep your hands to yourself. Ask before you get all touchy-feely. If you're watching the stage, applaud when the dancer finishes.
I'm serious about this. If you go into a strip club, be the kind of woman who supports other women. Those women have been through enough without dealing with your judgment. Also, remember that you're going to be surrounded by gorgeous sexy women all night. So, bring your A-game.
Steve: Sisters should support sisters even when they stir up the misters.