Hello there
About six years ago, Alx went to work at Borders Books in Center City. Lula was his boss. The store had a very collegial atmosphere, to say the least. "We would all go out every day after work - there was always something going on," Alx remembered. He and Lula soon became close friends, and eventually started to see each other, in secret - they didn't want any of the other employees to suspect Lula was giving Alx favorable treatment or otherwise make things awkward at work, at least not until they were certain about the relationship.
After a year of the hush-hush, Alx stole Lula's apartment key from work, let himself in, and cooked a big Valentine's Day dinner. He also had presents: "Lula's one of the most organized people in the world. I bought her a paper shredder and a label maker," he said. "I lit candles, and I asked her to be my girlfriend." She said yes.
"It was the paper shredder that did it," Lula said. "Anybody who would buy me a paper shredder for Valentine's Day must really know me."
They revealed their relationship to the rest of the staff, who, of course, already knew.
How does forever sound?
Lula, now 33, left the bookstore in August 2006 to open her own graphic design firm, theLULAdesigns. Alx, 28, left about six months later to work full-time at the Jewish Publication Society, where he is now the online sales and marketing manager.
Their relationship continued to grow, and in September 2007, Alx was moving in. He decided to propose that same weekend and took the ring on a camping trip near Atlantic City. Despite lots of beach time, it never felt right. Getting married is about creating a home together, Alx said. When they came home, they bought their first big purchases: a couch and bookshelves from Ikea. They picked up some Wawa hoagies for dinner, went back to the apartment, and started to assemble. "We were literally piecing our lives together," Alx said. "I got on my knees in the doorway and asked if she would be my best friend forever."
Alx and Lula still live in that Fairmount apartment, with their 17-month-old son, Raiden, whose name means thunder and lightning in Japanese.
It was so them
Lula's mom is Japanese; her father is black. Alx is Jewish. They wanted a wedding that honored their backgrounds.
It was important to Alx to be married by a rabbi. It was "not the easiest thing" to find a rabbi who would marry Alx and a non-Jewish woman, even though they are raising Raiden as a Jew. But Marjorie Berman was happy to perform the ceremony, and she helped the couple "make rituals that have been around for thousands of years our own," Alx said.
The ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract, is normally a frameable work of art. Lula handcrafted a three-dimensional bonsai tree out of plaster and beads. The couple wrote their own marriage promises, and once this was signed, it was rolled up and placed into the trunk of the tree. Guests were asked to write little blessings, also in the trunk. And instead of limiting the number of witnesses who signed the ketubah to a few, Alx and Lula had all of their guests sign a leaf, which was then hung from the tree. "It really combines the traditional idea of a Jewish contract with her Japanese roots," Alx said.
The rabbi did the traditional reading of the Seven Blessings in Hebrew. Then seven of the couple's friends and family members wrote and read their own blessings for the couple, in haiku form.
The ceremony took place in the Colonial Dames garden. Raiden walked out with Alx and his parents, and Lula walked out with her parents, until they met in the middle. "Our parents all hugged each other, and then they left, and we walked the rest of the way down the aisle on our own," Alx said. Raiden stood beside his parents during the entire ceremony.
This was a surprise
Shortly after Alx put an engagement ring on Lula's hand, she bought him a ring - steel with a gold inlay. Alx wore it to mark their engagement, but the plan was to use it as his wedding band as well. The night before the wedding, Lula woke Alx up. She said she needed to get it while she was thinking of it, so she could give it to her maid of honor for the ceremony.
During the ceremony, Alx looked down at his hand to watch Lula slip the ring on his finger. "She bought me a brand new tungsten ring with a diamond set in it," Alx said.
Awestruck
The sight of his bride brought Alx to tears. "The minute she walked out, I was just completely floored. I couldn't control it," he said. "She was absolutely gorgeous. And the smile on her face was not anything I'll be able to forget."
Here's what was behind that smile: Lula said that even though she and Alx had known for a long time they would spend the rest of their lives together, seeing him and their son dressed up and waiting for her was extraordinary. "It just completely solidified everything in my heart," she said. "It made it so real."
Discretionary spending
A bargain: The Colonial Dames venue. It was about 40 percent cheaper than the other locations the couple looked at. It was also the smallest place, but plenty big for their 120 guests.
The splurge: Even though the couple live in Center City, they booked themselves a nice room at the Radisson for their wedding night.
The getaway
Four days and three nights in Las Vegas.
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Behind the Scenes
Officiant
Rabbi Marjorie Berman, Philadelphia
Venue
The Colonial Dames, Philadelphia
Catering
Mike Schmidt of Diverse Catering, Bensalem
Music
Toner Sound, DJ Ray Devine, Aston
Photography
Michelle Baffuto, Lawrenceville, N.J.
Dress
Formals XO, King of Prussia
Invitations
theLULAdesigns did the invitations, and Alx designed the couple's Web site.
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