Hello there
The Bramley-Weinstein and Braunstein families have known each other for decades, going back to Philadelphia in the 1970s. When the Bramley-Weinstein's little girl was born in 1985, Debbie Braunstein gave to her friend Marthe the crib her 3-year-old boy, Rafie, had outgrown.
When baby Jenna was 3 months old, the Bramley-Weinsteins moved to Cherry Hill. The Braunsteins followed about seven years later, and the friendship between the two families began to blossom anew. By the time Jenna was a Cherry Hill High School East freshman and Rafie a senior, the two families were celebrating all the Jewish holidays together.
After graduation, Rafie attended Rutgers University, and after earning his urban studies degree, he moved to Philadelphia, where Jenna, a history major at the University of Pennsylvania, was already living.
While both lived in Pennsylvania, they only saw each other in New Jersey - at their families' holiday gatherings. "At all the holidays, we would say, 'We should really get together,' " Jenna remembered. "We exchanged numbers, but neither of us would call. It got to the point where it was embarrassing."
Fate kept trying to give these two a push. Jenna worked part time as a listing agent for a real estate development company, showing apartments to prospective tenants. In the fall of 2006, she got a phone message from Rafie about a friend of his looking for an apartment. Jenna returned the call, but did not hear back until January 2007. Jenna was in Florida when she received the second message - Rafie invited her to accompany him to a party he was attending in her neighborhood. She returned his second call a couple of weeks later, when she was back home. "We should hang out soon," Rafie said.
One night in February, he called her again. "We were both already out for the night, and we met up for drinks," Jenna said. Pre-drink, both were thinking that finally - in Jenna's last semester at Penn - they were getting together in the city, and they could stop talking about doing so over holiday meals.
But during drinks - the first real time they had spent together away from their families - something happened. "We had this instant desire to see each other again," Jenna said.
Because of their families' bond, Jenna and Rafie had a pretty serious talk: Things could get awkward if dating didn't work out for them. "We knew that if we were going to pursue this," she said, "it had to be real."
Jenna told her mother "before he would even consider telling his parents." One day, the Bramley-Weinsteins' phone rang, and the first thing Marthe heard when she picked it up was Rafie's stepmother, Sivia, saying, "No matter what happens, we'll still be friends."
How does forever sound?
Here's what happened: By September 2007, Jenna, who is now 24, and Rafie, 27, had moved in together. Jenna is a legal assistant in the City of Philadelphia's law department. She returns to the couple's apartment near Rittenhouse Square every day for lunch. But just before Memorial Day weekend 2008, Rafie told her she would have to have lunch somewhere else that Friday. This was especially strange because Rafie, who works in sales for his family's company, Bumper Specialties Inc. of Deptford, had the day off. "I'm having an exterminator come," he said.
Jenna wondered if something was up, or if she was just being suspicious, and Rafie was being overly cautious about bug spray. But she agreed not to come home and to meet him for a drink at 6:30, after work.
Rafie showed up right on time. "He's never on time!" Jenna said. After they finished their drinks, they headed toward home. The elevator opened, and inside was a huge blue banner that said "Beautiful," which is Rafie's nickname for Jenna. (The building has two elevators, and yes, Rafie put a banner in both of them, to cover his bases.)
"What's going on?" Jenna asked. "This isn't me doing this," Rafie said. "Anyone could use that word." When the elevator opened on their floor, there was another banner on their apartment door. "Fate," it said. By now, Jenna was very excited, and eager to see what would happen next.
Inside was darkness, punctuated with candlelight. A Dave Matthews CD played, and flowers and family photographs were displayed all around. On one wall was another sign: "Wavelength." This is the word the two say to each other when they are thinking along the same lines.
"Oh, my gosh, you're proposing!" Jenna said. Rafie presented Jenna with the emerald and diamond ring that had belonged to his late mother, Debbie, who passed away in 1991. The ring had marked both her engagement and her wedding. Rafie's father gave it to him to give to Jenna.
"I have to call my parents!" Jenna said. "Relax," said Rafie. He sent a quick text, and a parade of nine Bramley-Weinsteins and Braunsteins appeared with hummus, pita, carrot cake, and champagne. They had been waiting for the signal in a vacant apartment upstairs. As always, the families celebrated together. And then Rafie took Jenna outside to a waiting limo that whisked them to the Shore for the long holiday weekend.
It was so them
Rafie and Jenna were married before 270 guests in the atrium at the Curtis Center.
"The music was the most important thing for us," Jenna said. "We wanted the right songs, the right feel for the wedding." So with the encouragement of the Urban Guerilla Orchestra, the two came up with a soundtrack.
They chose Van Morrison's "Moondance" for their first dance. "It has a beat - we're not into just slow music and swaying," she said. The rest of the night included dance songs by Michael Jackson and some serious, old-school funk.
Awestruck
As Rafie and Jenna walked back up the aisle after the ceremony, a roar of applause surrounded them. "I can't begin to describe what it meant to me, people reacting like that," Jenna said. Right after, the couple took a few minutes for themselves. "It was just such a comfort, a feeling of ease," Jenna said. "I'm set for life. Anything can happen - I'm with my best friend."
Discretionary spending
A bargain: The envelope calligraphy. Rafie and Jenna had hired someone, but then found a woman who did the same work out of her home for less, and saved $1.50 per invitation. "We had 200 invitations. It was a huge savings," Jenna said.
The splurge: The band. UGO, as they are commonly called, cost $5,000 more than the other bands the couple looked at. But asked if it was worth it, music-lover Jenna said, "Oh, yes! Of course."
Typical Rafie
The entire weekend of the wedding, friends and family kept wondering what Rafie would be late for. He was an hour late for the rehearsal. And reference to his well-known tendency toward tardiness made it into most of the wedding toasts.
Turns out, Rafie was on time for every part of the big day, but it didn't last. He and Jenna spent 10 days, nine nights in Greece. It would have been 10 nights, but, thanks to the groom, the couple missed their plane.
Behind the Scenes
Officiant
Rabbi Aaron Krupnick, Voorhees, N.J.
Venue
Atrium at the Curtis Center, Philadelphia
Catering
Prestige Caterers, Queens Village, N.Y.
Music
Urban Guerilla Orchestra, Philadelphia
Photography
Rebecca Barger, Jenkintown
Dress
RDM, Conshohocken
Invitations
Gail Shapiro, Voorhees, N.J.EndText