Hello there
In January 2005, Melissa, having just landed in Japan, had boarded a bus for a two-hour ride to Tokyo where the English major would take Asian studies classes through Temple University's study-abroad program.
She soon noticed another student - a guy - was watching her from across the aisle. Maybe it was the jet lag. Or perhaps her recent breakup. But Melissa was not pleased by the attention. "I was getting offended," she said.
She managed to mostly avoid him, until both were asked to be on the cover of the Japan program's catalog - so very multicultural. Stephen is of Scottish descent, but lived in London until his family moved to Chestnut Hill when he was 16. Melissa's parents are from Guyana and are of Indian descent. She lived in Queens until her family moved to Gibbstown, N.J., when she was 16.
After the photo shoot, Melissa decided to cut class - there was just so much to do in Japan. So she went to the Tokyo Zoo, and two funny things happened: Stephen, a history major, followed her. And they had the best time.
The more they talked, the more Melissa realized she had misjudged the man, and they started spending a lot of time together. "We were falling in love," she said. "But he had a girlfriend, and I had just had a really serious breakup."
Melissa and Stephen never acknowledged their growing feelings back then. And after that zoo day, they made a point never to do anything alone together - they were always with a group.
When Melissa left the Tokyo campus in mid-April to study in India, Stephen asked for her contact information. But Melissa thought a clean break would be better. Her parting words: "I said, 'I'm a duck; you're water off my back. I don't want to be in touch. I don't want to be friends. This was fun, but I don't want to know you.' "
The harsh language was the opposite of what she was feeling inside. "I really liked him, but what was I supposed to do? He had a girlfriend. And I wasn't going to be that girl" who tries to steal another woman's man.
Nearly six months later, back in Philadelphia, Melissa was walking to her car, parked at 16th and Market Streets, when it started to rain. As she struggled with her umbrella, she heard someone call her name in a familiar London accent.
But how could it be Stephen? He was supposed to have graduated by then. Then again, so was she.
"It was really right out of Bollywood," she said.
Stephen asked her to Korean barbecue that night. "I was excited, and we went out and had a great time, but I still didn't offer him my contact information," she said. "I didn't want to be like, 'Hey, are you single now?' "
He was single. And he asked a mutual friend for Melissa's phone number.
How does forever sound?
If this were really Bollywood, that moment in the rain would have been the start of happily ever after.
But in real life, Melissa and Stephen had some hurdles to clear. In 2008, they were in their mid-20s and living together in Fishtown when Melissa received word that she had been accepted to grad school in Paris. Here was another opportunity to study abroad. And in France! But for the first time in her life, love made Melissa hesitate. That scared her.
As she and Stephen discussed the situation, he realized that he had put aside his own dreams to do what was necessary for Melissa to reach hers. And that scared him.
"I was concerned I was going to lose part of my self in this relationship, and he was feeling the same way," Melissa said. "Is he still Stephen? Am I still Melissa? Or are we morphing into one person?"
They decided the only way to find out was to take a break from the relationship. Melissa got a one-year deferral on grad school and moved back to her mother's house in New Jersey. They did not see each other for nine months. But they didn't see anyone else, either, and there were phone calls.
The transition back to couplehood was a gradual one. Stephen started coming for visits. Then they began having occasional dinners together. Eventually, they realized they wanted to make their relationship work, even if a life together might be a little challenging for two individualists.
Early one morning in May, Melissa woke up to find Stephen kneeling at the side of her bed - her niece had let him in. "I thought he was praying over me, and I was confused," she said. "Then, in a whisper, he said, 'Will you marry me?' and I said, 'Yeah. I will.' "
It was so them
Melissa, 28, works for the Partnership Community Development Corp. in West Philadelphia, where she conducts financial literacy workshops. Stephen is a retail banker at Third Federal Bank.
The couple, again together in Fishtown, had a three-day wedding celebration. Friday night, Melissa's mother, Seerojini, cooked a Guyanese-style feast of Muscovy duck curry, lamb curry, dal, and many chutneys.
It was important to Melissa and Stephen that the day they exchanged vows be low-key and contemplative, with time for them to be alone. Their solution: They held the reception the night before the wedding. Their 120 guests gathered at North Bowl in Northern Liberties. "People bowled, ate, drank, played pool and video games, and danced if they wanted to," Melissa said. "It was so much fun."
The wedding was held that Sunday at the Bellevue. Stephen wore a kilt in honor of his Scottish heritage. Melissa walked down the aisle holding hands with both of her parents - Seerojini and Rajan. The couple wrote their own vows. Stephen told Melissa of his great love for her, and said he wanted to enjoy the rest of his life with her. Melissa spoke not just of Stephen, but of his parents, Elizabeth and Murray. Melissa's parents divorced when she was young, and so she did not grow up with an example of a happily married couple. "I thanked them for teaching Stephen how to love," she said.
After the ceremony, the guests gathered for brunch. Then, Melissa and Stephen headed home to Fishtown, where they spent the first day of their married lives sitting on the couch, relaxing and talking.
Discretionary spending
A bargain: The bowling alley reception cost about a quarter of what the fancy venues the couple considered would have charged. Melissa also saved money by not carrying a bouquet - it was more important for her to have one hand for each of her parents to hold.
The splurge: The bride had her wedding dress custom-made. The knee-length, diamond-white, 1940s-inspired gown was a lot more expensive than one she could have picked up at a discount bridal store. It cost about the same as a designer dress, she said.
The getaway
Two weeks in Costa Rica.
Behind the Scenes
Officiant
The Rev. Denny Daikeler, an interfaith minister, Philadelphia
Venue
Ceremony: XIX (Nineteen) at The Bellevue; Reception: North Bowl, both in Philadelphia
Catering
XIX and North Bowl
Photography
James Lund of James Lund Photography, New York City
Music
DJ Frosty, Philadelphia
Dress
Bridals by Danielle, Philadelphia
Invitations
Casa Papel, Philadelphia
Florist
Tanti from Papertini, Philadelphia
Planner
Randi Martin of Always Fabulous Events, Abington
EndText
Do You Have the Date?
Tell us in a short e-mail – at least six weeks before your ceremony – why we should feature your love story. Send it to weddings@phillynews.com. Unfortunately, we can't personally respond to all submissions. If your story is chosen, you will be contacted in the weeks before your wedding.
EndText