Hello there
In fall 1983, Jessie was the new girl in fourth grade at Germantown Friends School. On the first day of classes, she met Ashok, a boy with a nice smile and a striped shirt.
That friendship continued through elementary, middle and high school. Ashok and Jessie were usually assigned to the same math and reading classes. They thought it was pretty cool that they shared a Feb. 15 birthday. And once in high school, they chose many of the same elective classes and clubs, reflecting their shared interests in jewelry making, sports, rock climbing and rapelling. Both were on the squash team, and lettered in two additional sports each.
For several years, Ashok and Jessie were the two student representatives to the school committee - essentially the Quaker version of a school board.
"We would go to dinner together at a local pizza place, and then go to the meetings," Jessie remembered.
She also remembers the nervous anticipation she felt dressing up for those non-dates. By then, "I had this huge crush on him," she said.
"I always had a crush on Jessie," Ashok said.
But neither ever told the other about their feelings.
The summer after Jessie's senior year, Ashok was a counselor at an all-boys summer camp owned by his great-uncle. Jessie worked as a nanny nearby, and she and a girlfriend sneaked in after hours to visit. Everyone went swimming in the Mount Waldo quarry. That was the last time Ashok and Jessie would see each other for 15 years.
After graduating from Connecticut College, Jessie began pursuing a career as a documentary filmmaker. Based in New York City, she was a producer of No End in Sight, the Iraq War documentary that was nominated for a 2008 Academy Award. She also worked on the first season of the Glenn Close TV series Damages, and has recently worked on documentaries about schoolchildren in the slums of Rio de Janeiro and Prince Charles' environmental work.
Ashok, who attended Hamilton College, is a craftsman. Shortly after college, he moved to California, living in Marin County and San Francisco, where he opened a hand-carved furniture business and surfed a lot.
In spring 2007, Jessie ran into her Brooklyn neighbor Blair, a native Philadelphian whom she and Ashok hung out with growing up. Blair and Ashok kept in touch, and there was news: Ashok had just moved back to Philadelphia.
"I called him out of the blue, and we talked for three hours," Jessie said.
More conversations followed, and a July 4 reunion was scheduled for the Queen Village rooftop of Jessie's parents' house. Traffic prevented Ashok from making it to the fireworks, but he arrived soon after.
And, says Jessie: "That was that!"
How does forever sound?
After about two years of a two-city romance, Ashok moved to New York, where he now works for Canopy Studios, a high-end furniture maker in the Brooklyn Navy Yard. Ashok also makes and sells furniture independently.
In fall 2009, Ashok's grandmother gave him three rings, saying he could use parts of them to fashion an engagement ring for Jessie. So Ashok and Jessie, who still love to make jewelry, began working together on an Art Deco-inspired engagement ring that incorporated diamonds from Grandma Dinnie.
Jessie works on a freelance basis, and she was between gigs in January 2010. The couple had adopted austere spending habits to cope, and so Ashok's invitation to a fancy dinner made Jessie suspect that the ring was finished.
When they arrived at Blue Hill - an organic, farm-to-table place in the Village - Jessie was amused to spot Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick. "I wanted Carrie Bradshaw to see me getting engaged at 36!"
Ashok was a little consternated that they were seated in a corner booth - to slide out to assume the one-knee position was not the graceful move he had in mind. He waited until Jessie excused herself, then stood to wait for her. When she returned, he knelt down, and asked the question.
All eyes were on them when Jessie said yes.
The couple immediately called Jessie's parents, Andy and Peggy, and Ashok's, Usha and Norris, who live in Germantown.
It was so them
The party started the night of the rehearsal dinner. Ashok's family provided the entertainment. Grandma Dinnie played popular songs whose lyrics she had altered in honor of the couple. "Our nieces and nephews all love Bob the Builder, and they came out in tool belts and hard hats," Jessie said. The words they sang came down to this: Ashok, Jessie is now the boss of you.
Ashok's sister, Cat, also a musician, sang a love song she wrote for the couple. And everyone presented them with a quilt composed of squares made by family and friends.
Jessie and Ashok held both their wedding and reception at the Corinthian Yacht Club on the Delaware River. The couple were wed in a river-side tent, and both were escorted down the aisle by their parents. Their self-uniting ceremony took place under the care of the Germantown Monthly Meeting. To Quaker traditions, they added touches from Usha's Syrian Christian faith. The blessings came from the Jewish tradition, reflecting Andy's heritage, and the benediction was Methodist, honoring Peggy.
A reception for 200 was held in the tent next door. The couple's first dance was to the Staple Singers' "I'll Take You There." Soon, Ashok changed from his J. Crew suit to an Indian wedding garment of cream-colored silk. And Jessie exchanged her gown for a bright-red sari and bangles.
For the favors, the groom's father and the couple's niece and nephew provided honey from their beehives in Germantown and Grass Valley, Calif.
This didn't happen at rehearsal
Ashok and Jessie figured they'd do without the garter toss. But when Jessie received two garters as a shower gift, creative minds went to work. Ashok reached under Jessie's sari to remove her garter. Then he sat down, and Jessie reached up her new husband's pant leg to retrieve garter number two. The guests' jaws dropped, then they burst into laughter as the bride and groom tossed their garters.
Awestruck
Jessie said it was amazing "to have everyone you love in one place."
Ashok was deeply moved during the ceremony, when so many people stood up to give the couple marriage advice, or reflect on favorite memories.
Discretionary spending
A bargain: Jessie got her dress at Filene's "Running of the Brides" sale for $500, saving about $3,000. And she got silk dresses for her flower girls for $14 each.
The splurge: Inviting so many guests.
The getaway
Ten days in Hawaii.
Behind the Scenes
Officiant
Quaker ceremonies are self-uniting, but the wedding took place under the care of Germantown Monthly Meeting.
Venue
Corinthian Yacht Club of Philadelphia, Essington
Catering
Provided by Corinthian Yacht Club
Music
The Quake Band, Philadelphia
Photography
Michael T. Regan Photography, Philadelphia and Los Angeles
Dress
Pronovias gown bought at the "Running of the Brides" sale at Filene's Basement in NYC; traditional red and gold Indian wedding sari was a gift from the groom's family.
Groom's attire: J. Crew tan summer suit from J. Crew in Manhattan; cream silk Indian suit with embroidered trim purchased from Lavanya Inc. in Jackson Heights in Queens.
Flowers
Poppy, Philadelphia
Invitations
Nick Vogelson, the bride's brother and an art director, designed the invitations with the couple.
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