A special place for baby angels

THE CEMETERY tucked behind the Jerusalem Evangelical Lutheran Church seems at first glance like any other.

Neatly tended graves sit inside a fenced grassy area amid the rural, rolling hills of West Rockhill, upper Bucks County. Flowers bloom and a stone cherub greets contemplative mourners in a memorial garden at the cemetery's entrance.

But beside one tombstone, Elmo and Mickey Mouse balloons bounce on the breeze, while Tonka bulldozers crowd a stuffed blue elephant on another.

Headstones and markers sit just inches apart, the tiny plots tragic proof of the short lives of those buried within.

This is the Angel Garden, a cemetery just for babies.

"If you haven't experienced [the death of an infant], you don't realize how common it is," said Joan Frederick, 68, of Perkasie, a retired obstetrics and gynecology nurse who created the Angel Garden in 2005 with her husband, Jim.

The Fredericks lost their first grandchild when their daughter developed complications and went into premature labor at just 22 weeks in 2003. The family buried the stillborn baby, Victor, in a Catholic cemetery near their Delaware home, in a section saved for babies.

Grief drove the couple to create the Angel Garden. Their church, Jerusalem Evangelical Lutheran, donated an unused, weedy field, which the Fredericks and other volunteers spent weeks clearing.

The first baby, Pauline Glatts, was buried before their work was done, and the cemetery now is the final resting place for about 50 babies, with room for maybe 400 more.

"The loss is tremendous," said Joan Frederick, now a grandmother of five. "You have to do something to work through it. It felt good to be able to do something for other people in this situation."

You might think a cemetery for babies would be the saddest place on Earth.

Until you talk with some of their parents.

"I see all the other babies that are there, and it reminds me that we're not the only ones that go through this," said Kevin High, of Souderton, whose first child, a boy he and wife Kerry named Ryan, died after complications forced Kerry into labor at just 23 weeks' gestation. "It's something that's not talked about a lot. The Angel Garden is like an unspoken common ground, which is comforting."

Carla Papciak-Glatts, of Coopersburg, Lehigh County, lost her first child, Pauline, after a routine midpregnancy ultrasound revealed that the infant had an inoperable, terminal heart defect.

"It's so peaceful; it's pure serenity," Papciak-Glatts said. "It's a quiet, lovely resting spot for babies, just babies. It's very peaceful for me to know there's a special place for her."

The cemetery can help ease the anguish for new parents grappling with unexpected death. Plots are free to whoever needs them; the Fredericks visited hospitals and funeral homes to spread the word of its existence.

"Young couples are crib-ready. They're not thinking about going to a funeral director," Joan Frederick said.

The Fredericks don't know all the stories of the babies buried in the Angel Garden.

They suspect most, if not all, of the babies buried there died of medical maladies. Some were premature and born dead. Some lived just a few hours or days.

But some - including Ian and Ashley Sirianni's two boys - were old enough to pose for chubby-cheeked photos astride oversize teddy bears.

Owen and Cole Sirianni both died of congenital heart defects and other complications. Owen was just 7 months old when he died in May 2010. His little brother Cole, born a year and four days afterward, nearly made it to 8 months.

Now they lie buried next to each other.

Their parents visit often to bring seasonal decorations like pumpkins or just simply to brush the headstones clean.

"Coming here is as close as you can get to your kids," said Ian Sirianni, 30, an electrician from Lansdale.

Their double tragedy has not shaken their devout faith. They had Bible verses inscribed on both boys' gravestones, including this from the New Testament book of Matthew: "Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.' "

"Everything is in God's hands," said Ashley Sirianni, 27. "When we die, this is something more to look forward to. Our boys are waiting for us in heaven."

For some parents of babies buried in the Angel Garden, the idea that life is fleeting has shaped their lives since their loss.

"You don't know when your last day is going to be to love your kids," said Kevin High, whose wife has had two boys since Ryan's death. "So love them today like it is your last day to love them."

Blog: phillyconfidential.com