Father who lost son warns parents on guns
The Delaware County father whose handgun became the weapon that his teenage son used to take his own life in March -- even though the gun was locked and hidden away -- is appearing on a video warning parents about the dangers of having guns in their homes.
The handgun was hidden, the trigger locked, and the key stashed away. Farid Naib said he did everything a responsible parent with a weapon in the house should do for his family's safety.
But in March, he buried his 13-year-old son, who shot and killed himself with the gun Naib thought he had so carefully concealed.
Now Naib is appearing in a video produced by the Brady Campaign to Prevent Violence - and released to coincide with National Suicide Prevention Week - to warn parents about the dangers of having a gun in the home.
"The notion that a gun in the house keeps you safer just isn't true," Farid Naib said in an interview Thursday. "I bought it for protection and it ended up destroying my life."
On March 4, a Wednesday, right before the season's heaviest snowfall, Cayman Naib left his Newtown Square home after he received an email from school saying he was failing a course.
A massive search began when he failed to return or contact his family after two days. Hundreds of volunteers, the Civil Air Patrol, dog teams, and police combed the area.
"We thought our son was a runaway," Farid Naib said.
Cayman Naib was found dead by a search dog four days later in a shallow creek near the remote edge of the family's 13-acre property.
His death was ruled a suicide.
Farid Naib wanted to share his story with other parents to have them understand the risks of keeping a gun in the home. He said he was prompted to get out his message after a Pennsylvania father contacted him with a similar story.
"I am convinced if I didn't have a gun in the house, Cayman would be alive today," he said.
Naib purchased the gun in the 1980s for protection when he lived in a high-crime neighborhood.
"Owning a gun for personal protection is not a good idea," he said.
He was unaware Cayman Naib even knew about the weapon, he said. It wasn't until police asked on Sunday, the day the body was found, whether he had a gun that he realized it was missing, he said.
Unbeknownst to Naib, his son found the weapon, but not the key to the trigger lock, which turned out to be ineffective anyway, he said.
He said he had seen no signs his son would take his own life.
"Kids are impulsive," said Naib. "By having a gun in the house it makes it more likely that a suicide would be effective."
Naib said he and his wife, Becky Malcolm-Naib, came from families who owned guns. He said his message isn't about the Second Amendment. "My issue is solely focused on family safety," he said.
The risk of suicide is three times higher for people who have a gun in the home than for people without guns, according to a University of Pennsylvania study.
Dan Gross, president of the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, said the connection between suicide and gun ownership has been underestimated.
"States with high gun ownership have high suicide rates," Gross said. "It is a public health issue."
He called Cayman "an ordinary kid that had a bad moment that was made permanent by the fact there was a gun in the house."
Farid Naib said he now views his life as divided between the times before and after his son's suicide.
The days have been filled with aching reminders of what was and what will never be the same. Summer. Cayman's birthday, June 1. The start of the school year. Wednesdays - the day of the week his son killed himself - are particularly painful.
"It is very difficult," said Farid Naib. He thinks about his son constantly and said he cries almost every day.
"Friends and the community have been very supportive," he said.
"I miss him," he said. "I miss being Cayman's Dad."
Farid Naib said he has vowed to do 14 good things - one for each year that his son was alive - to help deal with the tragedy. The Brady video is one.
"I wanted parents to hear my story because I don't want anyone to go through the pain my family and I are living through today," Naib said.
"I would give anything to have my kid back."
BY THE NUMBERS
- 20,000 Americans commit suicide per year using a gun.
- 3/4 of teen gun suicides involve a parent's gun.
- 71% of suicides happen within an hour of the person making the decision.
- 3 times more likely for a suicide if there is a gun in the home.
- 306 youths took their lives in 2012, making it the third-leading cause of death for those 10 to 14 years old.
SOURCES: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence.
Where to Get Help
For information about suicide or help in preventing one:
call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
call Peter's Place, Radnor Township, at 610-687-5150.
Or go to www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
610-313-8111@MariSchaefer