AS IF TO PROVE my longtime contention that academics have too much time on their hands, a study from Harvard's Mossavar-Rahmani Center for Business and Government suggests getting rid of our $100 bill. They don't want to see the C-note.
The last sensible thing to come out of Harvard was JFK.
The main reason for the change - supported by former Treasury Secretary Larry Summers - is that big-denomination bills are used by criminals (which I understand) and they facilitate tax evasion (how is unclear). Summers, by the way, is a past president of Harvard, he directs the Mossavar-Rahmani operation, and I think he's carrying his boys' water here.
This is personal for me.
Ben Franklin is my favorite founding father. In addition to being a fiery champion of independence, he took our case to France, where he enlisted an important ally - and dallied with the ladies. He gave us the University of Pennsylvania, plus many American "firsts" - zoo, editorial cartoon, volunteer fire department, insurance company, hospital . . . OMG, the list does go on.
In addition to being the greatest inventor of his era, he was one quotable dude.
Listen: "I'm upset because I raised all this money from France and now they're going to take me off the $100 bill? I enjoy being on the $100, because George is only on the $1," Dr. Franklin told me (through well-known impersonator Ralph Archbold).
It's true that the $100 bill, called the "Benjamin" in pop culture, can be used for snorting cocaine and as payment for large-scale criminal activities. The Harvard study also recommends killing Britain's 50-pound note, the 500-euro bill, and the Swiss 1,000-franc note, but that's just a smoke screen to get at Franklin.
The study, led by Peter Sands, would like to see $20 as the largest bill, and while it is too timid to call for abolishing the C-note, it strongly suggests it.
Summers says one million dollars in value weighs 2.2 pounds with the 500-euro note rather than - mixing currencies - the 50 pounds it would weigh if $20s were the biggest denomination.
All that would do is give us stronger criminals. And if we throw out the $100 and the $50, doesn't that mean the criminals have won? And won't they just switch to bitcoins?
Speaking of that, Franklin Institute president and CEO Larry Dubinski tells me: "I just checked in with Franklin. He didn't have too much to say other than he would support doing away with the $100 bill - just as long as he is upgraded to the bitcoin."
It's as if I have a twin.
I don't care about European currency. It comes in different colors and sizes, as if they had trouble making up their mind.
Switching senses to cents, some want to kill our penny. That's a penny-pinching idea because it costs more than a penny to mint a penny.
The Benjamin is the largest bank note in circulation. In the past, different dignitaries were pictured - even a woman, yes, Martha Washington, $1, 1886, and a Native American, Little Antelope, $5, 1899. You used to be able to lay your hands on a $500 (John Quincy Adams), $1,000 (DeWitt Clinton), $5,000 (James Madison), and $100,000 (Woodrow Wilson). Over the years more senators (20) than presidents (13) were pictured.
The cost of everything is going up and our largest denomination should be going down? Does this make sense to anyone outside of Harvard (which may have its own motives)?
Franklin is one of only two non-presidents pictured on our paper currency. The other ($10) is Alexander Hamilton, and he is under fire, with some wishing to replace him with a woman, even though Hamilton founded our financial system (and provided inspiration for a hip-hop Broadway musical).
Today, when one of the kids (meaning under 18) has a birthday, nothing lights up eyes like a crisp $100 bill. Mostly they are crisp, you ever notice? Five Andrew Jacksons ($20) have the same value but not the same impact.
Most kids don't see Benjamins often, so they make an impression. (Also with - antiquated term alert! - hatcheck girls, but I'm not going there today.)
Abolishing the $100 would dismay Ben Franklin impersonator Ward Larkin, who bills himself as "Philadelphia's freshest Franklin."
"I always carry a hundred just for sport," he says. "I say it would be cheaper to be Lincoln."
Rim shot.
Slipping into his Ben persona, he offers these: "Lenders have better memories than debtors," and, "If you want to know the value of money, try to borrow some."
I told you Franklin was quotable, didn't I?
The bottom line: Franklin was one of America's most prominent people and - oh, yeah - let's not forget he was a Philadelphian, one of us.
What did Franklin leave behind? Boston.
Where is Harvard located? Boston. (Cambridge, same thing.)
Connect the dots.
Keep your paws off of our Ben Franklin.
215-854-5977 @StuBykofsky
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