Skip to content
Link copied to clipboard

Prank SEPTA signs offend, amuse

One or more hoaxsters - or jokesters - did strike the Frankford-Market El.

One or more hoaxsters - or jokesters - did strike the Frankford-Market El.

This was not just a some PhotoShop-ortunity gone viral online.

At least a half-dozen phony "Notice to the Public" signs were somehow slipped into display cases on trains, SEPTA spokesman Andrew Busch confirmed this afternoon.

The messages broadly lambasted - or lampooned - the transit system and many types of riders - from "drug addicts" to "obnoxious Penn students," so SEPTA quickly had them removed.

And it's being vigilant about finding other instances.

"We do find the message very offensive in general" - not just to the anti-SEPTA parts, Busch said.

Others, though, see some clever wit.

Here's the text - minus some family-unfriendly words:


"Notice to the Public

"The Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority (SEPTA) is committed to providing non-discriminatory transportation services to all of its passengers, including schizophrenics, drug addicts, Irish Catholics, hipsters, . . . gentrifying transplants, raging maniacs, tourists, obnoxious Penn students, corner boys, pimps, drunk rich kids who still think Old City is cool, and terrified suburbanites who tremble with unease at the sight of everyone.

"Any person who is or seeks to be a patron of any SEPTA public vehicle shall be entitled to the same depressing experience of loud cell phones, obese people eating McDonalds, parents telling their toddlers to "Shut the . . . Up!", and a constant inch-deep layer of urine-soaked trash and debris.

"No person or group of persons shall be discriminated against on any grounds with regard to routing, scheduling, or quality of transportation service furnished by SEPTA, with the following exceptions - race, color, socioeconomic status, and proximity to the suburbs.

"Any person who has experienced a cleaner, more efficient, more extensive, and better managed public transportation system in the U.S. (e.g. most if not all) can feel free to notify SEPTA about potential improvements, which shall promptly be ignored."

"There's a lot in there to find offensive to a lot of peoplem," Busch said.

So far, SEPTA hasn't found out who's behind the stunt.

"It would be considered defacing or vandalizing SEPTA property and that's something we take seriously," Busch said. "It would be dealt with in the appropriate manner."

As for the shots at SEPTA, he said, "We don't really want to get into responding to the individual points. Obviously, they don't reflect our views or opinions."

This kind of hoax is a new one for SEPTA, he said, though it has happened in other area, including New York.

As evidence, he shared a photo of a sign that read:

"Service Inadequacies

"All the Time ...

"All trains will be crowded, G train will be too short and never on time. L train will be crowded no matter what. Our PA system will barely function and be barely audible if at all.

"How does this affect my trip?

"We don't care.

"You're basically screwed.

"You'll probably be late to work.

"You get to smell the homeless guy next to you longer.

"You get to listen to the ENTIRE podcast!

"Free entertainment = watching rats on the tracks.

"Tired of waiting? Run through the tunner. We dare you.

"Oh yeah, we're STILL going to increase the fare rate.

"Why does service suck?

"We already have your money, so who cares? We don't."