See the fire eaters! See the fire breathers! See the electrified woman!
"And you will see it all! Alive! Alive! Alive!" proclaimed the young man sporting a curled mustache and leopard-print fez outside National Mechanics bar and restaurant on a recent Friday night.
"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen, and see the Olde City Sideshow!"
Once a month, and whenever else it gets booked, the Olde City Sideshow performs at National Mechanics on Third Street between Market and Chestnut.
One guy specializes in swallowing swords. Another drives nails into his head. A woman eats bugs and lies on a bed of nails.
So where do these weird people come from?
According to the group's Web site, Dr. Zanzibar "has spent the last 15 years traveling the depths of the earth to discover new and interesting acts for his show. From the horrific to the amazing, from the frightening to the grotesque, he has brought them for you to see."
Actually, there is no Dr. Zanzibar and the performers are from Philadelphia and New Jersey.
Take Martin Ling the Suicide King.
In real life, he is Martin Stutzman, 33, a master electrician from Oaklyn, N.J.
For the show, he's the sword-swallowing guy.
"You have to have a good knowledge of your anatomy," he said.
And those blades don't just slide in effortlessly.
"The entire time you are doing it, your body is fighting it."
Regan Brunetti, 28, of South Philadelphia, does fire-eating and conducting electricity from a Tesla coil through her body.
The key, she said, is "unlearning all of the things you've learned in your life, like, 'Don't touch that, it's hot,' yet at the same time putting fire in your mouth."
The Olde City Sideshow was formed two years ago by Dan Boyle, Stutzman and John Peterson - a.k.a. Johnny Neutrino, the "talker" who narrates the performances and acts as a carnival barker outside.
"We all had a passion for vaudeville, burlesque, sideshow," said Boyle, 30, who goes by Danny Borneo and is the group's "blockhead."
So how do you learn how to drive a nail into your head?
"Very carefully," Boyle jokingly replied.
Boyle, who used to perform as a magician and currently works for a Web design firm, said there were no illusions in the show.
"Ninety-nine percent of the stuff we do anyone can do," he said.
"Should they? No."
Boyle, who lives in Blackwood, N.J., went to Coney Island to study sideshow acts. Stutzman had spent a year with the Ringling Bros. and Barnum and Bailey Circus as a pyrotechnician.
Olde City Sideshow was joined last year by Brunetti - a.k.a. Reggie Bugmuncher (pronounced boo-moon-SHARE), so named because she eats crickets and nightcrawlers.
In January, Heather Yager, 27, joined the group to play piano during the shows.
Most recently, Julie Reich, a former dean of the Moore College of Art and Design, came aboard to play the accordion outside as part of the warm-up act.
Yager writes her own music and has a different song for each act. Her stage name is Heartbreak Heather Marie.
"The music has added so much to our show," Brunetti said. "It adds pacing and mood. It really has shaped the show."
Reich, 66, who learned to play the accordion as a retirement pursuit, met Yager while volunteering at the Academy of Natural Sciences.
"I'm enchanted by what human beings consider exceptional skills and I love to play the accordion," Reich said. "This was an opportunity to do both."