Karen Heller: Perfectly level, this playing field

Merion is one of those Main Line communities with cricket-green street signs featuring tasteful small type, the sort that, from the road, are nearly impossible to read, as if to say, "If you have to read this, you probably don't belong here."

It's part of Lower Merion, and I quote from the township Web site: Montgomery County's "most affluent and populated municipality with the highest incomes, largest labor force, highest ratio of white collar and professional workers, most households, most single-family detached dwellings, and most married residents."

The neighborhood of handsome homes, pristine lawns and quiet streets is proud and traditional, tending to view change as anathema.

After acquiring 38 acres of Episcopal Academy's former campus there, St. Joseph's University announced plans last year to develop the playing fields for NCAA Division I baseball, softball and field hockey, with artificial turf, retaining walls, sound systems, bleachers, and netting propped up by 35-foot poles.

The neighbors were not, to say the least, amused - especially since they felt locked out of the planning process.

To say both sides were organized for a fight is an understatement.

St. Joe's lawyer is Michael Sklaroff, chair of Ballard Spahr's vast real estate department. The university retained lobbyist Ken Davis - that's right, a lobbyist - managing director of Duane Morris' government affairs division and, as it happens, a former president of the Lower Merion Board of Commissioners.

Worry not, though, for the 275 members of the Merion Community Coalition, which formed in opposition to St. Joe's. These are, after all, many of the same people who fought vigorously about the Barnes Foundation, first over noise and traffic in the neighborhood and later over the planned move to the Parkway.

MCC hired media and political strategist Jeff Jubelirer. Swarthmore acoustic engineering professor Carr Everbach is a consultant. There's a handsome Web site, a survey, and a motto: "Working to preserve the peace."

On Thursday night, the township's Zoning Hearing Board made decisions on both sides' appeals. About eight members of "Team SJU" attended, as did an equal number from MCC.

"I've watched neighbors shake in their shoes over property values going down 25 percent with increased traffic," said Realtor Renee Hill. "This is a neighborhood of $2 million homes. Imagine all the people coming for a game, seeing our beautiful neighborhood, and thinking, 'Let's drive up and down the streets and take a look.' "

Retired cardiologist Walter Herman, though angry about St. Joe's, began fulminating over the Barnes. Perhaps he was off his game, since he has been quoted in almost every story ever written about the Barnes.

MCC member Irene Glickman is still adjusting to St. Joe's. "I don't want to be a snob - but I am one - but we're not exactly talking about Haverford College here," she said. "This is a school that accepts 80 percent of its applicants. They're big on sports."

With neighbors like this, who needs litigants?

But here's the weird thing: The neighbors won. As in many zoning matters, the ruling is complicated. Further explication might cause your head to explode. Basically, the board ruled against most of St. Joe's proposed plans and in favor of MCC.

Perhaps the Hawk will never die, but Thursday night, Team SJU looked deflated. "We're obviously disappointed that they denied our plans," said the university's Harriet Goodheart. "We're considering our options."

St. Joe's can appeal the decisions to Montgomery County Court. Meanwhile, St. Joe's must seek a new special exemption from the board to develop the current plan, which could take several months. The Barnes may move, but the fights in Merion are like the Hawk. They also will never die. Play ball!