Around the state, smiles and vows

One bride wore pink, the other lavender, and in the presence of witnesses and a lot of reporters, Marge O'Donnell and Connie Pennock of Collingswood yesterday became one of New Jersey's first couples to be joined in a civil union.

"Marge, will you have Connie to be your life's partner?" asked Collingswood Mayor Jim Maley, officiating. "Will you love her, honor and keep her in sickness and in health, forsaking all others as long as you both shall live?"

"I will," said O'Donnell.

Moments later, framed by displays of star gazer lilies, daisies and tulips, the couple were declared by Maley to be "lawfully joined in civil union" and gave each other a warm embrace.

They were among four couples united by the mayor yesterday - and that was just the start.

Around the state, gay and lesbian couples began claiming their new rights under New Jersey's civil union law. For most, today is the first day they can be joined in civil union. Most municipal offices were closed for Monday's holiday, although Collingswood was open and a few gay-friendly towns such as Lambertville, Asbury Park and South Orange held special hours. Some folks didn't waste a minute.

Right after midnight on Monday, Beth Asaro and Joanne Schailey were the first couple in Lambertville to apply for their civil union license. Yesterday, after the required 72-hour waiting period, Asaro and Schailey were joined by Mayor David Del Vecchio. Their 7-year-old daughter was flower girl.

"It's an honor to be early on in the process and embrace it," said Asaro, a telephone company manager who for 20 years has been partners with Schailey, a nurse.

At the same time, two other couples were joined in civil union at an event sponsored by the gay-rights group Garden State Equality at the Brick Wall restaurant in Asbury Park. Mayor Kevin Sanders officiated.

Thomas Mannix, a business analyst, and Kevin Pilla, a design consultant, were one of the couples.

Before the ceremony, Mannix said he was glad about their forthcoming civil union, but wanted the Legislature to go further.

"As soon as they allow us to marry, we will," Mannix said.

"Over the years, we've been to a lot of weddings. Some have been second and third marriages," said Mannix who has been Pilla's partner 23 years. "We're happy. We just want more."

In South Orange, just past midnight on Monday, businessman Marty Finkle and sales director Michael Plake were joined in civil union. One of Finkle's teenage daughters was a witness. A few years ago, they became the state's first domestic partners, Finkle said. He, too, wishes the Legislature had gone further.

"Am I ecstatic that Mike and I are getting married? Absolutely. But it's bittersweet," said Finkle.

The first publicly known civil-union ceremony was Monday, the day the law took effect, just past midnight in Teaneck. Steven Goldstein, chairman of Garden State Equality, and his partner, Daniel Gross, didn't have to observe the 72-hour waiting period required of most couples because they were already married in Canada and had a civil union from Vermont - both of which are recognized by New Jersey under the new law. The state also is also recognizing civil unions from Connecticut, domestic partnerships from California, and gay marriages from Massachusetts and several countries.

In October, the state Supreme Court ordered the Legislature to give gay couples the legal benefits of marriage, but didn't instruct lawmakers to use the word marriage. Under the civil union law, gay couples will enjoy far greater legal protections than under the state's old domestic partnership law.

Nevertheless, New Jersey civil unions aren't binding on other states, nor will they afford the united federal benefits.

Diane Marini of Haddonfield, one of the plaintiffs in what became the landmark state Supreme Court case, was present at O'Donnell and Pennock's ceremony yesterday. Her partner, Marilyn Maneely, died before the court decision.

O'Donnell, who is an education consultant, a nondenominational minister and Pennock's partner of six years, also would have preferred marriage, but civil unions are an improvement.

Her partner Pennock, a medical technician, will be entitled to coverage under O'Donnell's health insurance when she retires.

But also it's about more than legal and financial benefits.

A few years ago, the couple shared their formal commitment celebration with 150 friends and relatives, which for O'Donnell includes nine grandchildren. They didn't plan another fete, other than dinner with friends.

Pennock said the civil union had its own meaning.

"It's very important to me to feel I have a life that is honest and has integrity," Pennock. "And this is a part of that."